Up we climb… See #50-41 here.
40: Kucch to Hai (India, 2003)
A two-and-a-half hour musical slasher movie from India, with some lines of dialogue spoken in English, but mostly in Hindi. This sanity-tester spends an hour building up to high school students finding their professor has murdered his wife and them running him over to escape, only to be stalked by a mystery killer at a ski lodge during a reunion three years later.
Scenes from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and Urban Legend are ripped off shot-for-shot, while the ‘action’ is interspersed with pop songs about love, usually accompanied by music videos you’d expect Britney Spears and N Sync to have made in the 90s. Bizarrely entrancing.
39: Record (South Korea, 2000)
I Know What You Did Last Summer Xerox #329 hails from South Korea, where a group of high schoolers play a cruel prank on their nerdy classmate, which results in him being stabbed, burned, and then falling over a cliff!
A year later, the group are tormented by a shady figure wearing a bright orange suit, who plays games with and kills them one by one. The good girl heroine tries to work out who it is before he gets her, even though she wasn’t even involved in the prank.
Worth seeing for the awesome translations:
- “Everybody die not long time.”
- “You are a not get. I have found the path to outcome you.”
- “You are nothing but a hell kite!”
38: The Windmill Massacre (Netherlands, 2016)
Dutch-but-in-English Reeker-esque shenanigans as a group of ‘sinners’ on a bus tour of Holland’s windmills are collected by a Jeepers Creepersy ghoul and sent to hell, I guess.
One of those movies that kind of spends its running time sliding down a slope of increasingly predictable situations as the plot unfolds and the novelty of Amsterdam’s backdrop is switched out for any-old-woods.
37: School’s Out (Germany, 1999)
Made-for-TV reaction to Scream with a harlequin-costumed killer scissoring teens on a scavenger hunt at their graduation party. I can’t remember a whole lot more about this one, only that it was tame and the German-speaking buddy I leant it to thought it was absolute crap.
36: The House by the Cemetery (Italy, 1981)
Fulci’s apparent attempt at copying The Shining with more stab and drip concerns a family moving into ‘the old Freudstein place’ where a zombie-like dude who resides in the basement kills random babysitters, realtors, and horny teenagers who dare venture down there. The memory that sticks most is that the child was dubbed by a grown woman trying to sound like a child and, well, the results are shrill to say the least.
35: Deep in the Woods (France, 2000)
A troupe of young actors are summoned to a castle in the middle of the woods to act out a version of Little Red Riding Hood for the birthday of a millionaire’s grandson. After they’re done, the horror begins as a creepy wolf-masked loon starts stalking and killing them one by one.
College students take a tour of an old mine haunted by the vengeful spirit of a 19th century child killer, who possesses various members of the group in an effort to kill seven souls so he can exit hell or something. Kind of Long Time Dead by way of My Bloody Valentine.
33: Sssshhh… (India, 2003)
Like Kucch to Hai, this is another Indian slasher-musical, which apes Scream as the sister of a recently-murdered girl is stalked by a clown-masked killer. Then there’s the obligatory falling-in-love, lots of songs about love, and the teens bugger off to some huts on an island and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer becomes the new point of focus as they’re eventually killed off. At nearly three hours long, this one is a chore, but at least boasts some interesting scenery and cultural backdrops to set the horror up against.
32: Dead in 3 Days (Austria, 2006)
Another Euro go at the themes of I Know What You Did Last Summer, this time with a bunch of graduating friends all sent a text informing them they’ll be dead within three days. Dismissing it as a prank proves fatal, as they start dying, leaving attack-survivor Nina to piece it together and discover it all goes back to something that did as kids.
The icy backdrop provides an interesting blood-and-snow dynamic but things peter out with a weak final act. It was followed by a sequel with the confusing name Dead in 3 Days 2, which I’ve yet to see.
31: Black Serenade (Spain, 2001)
Spain clambered aboard the Scream bandwaggon with this collegiate mystery, which had more in common with Urban Legend than anything else: The poorest performing students at the University of Salamanca are murderized by the mythical Dark Minstrel as punishment for not ‘earning’ their place in higher education.
Transfer brainiac Alex tries to solve the mystery while she sees her new group of friends killed off for cheating in their exams. Things grind on a bit too long to a ridiculous conclusion that makes little sense given what happened up to that point.