To those who wait


2 Stars  1987/87m

Director: Hal Freeman / Writer: Ted Newsom / Cast: Wendy MacDonald, Tony Montero, Lisa Loring, Lisa Savage, Hank Garrett, Monica Silveria, John Clark.

Body Count: 7

Laughter Lines: “So I’m a dick-smoker, huh? That’s great coming from a pussy-buffer and fucked up shrink!”

This one had been on my list since the mid-90s. With unreasonably high expectations, finding it after almost twenty years was a real moment of excitement! In other words: I never learn.

A drunken father finds his daughter playing with a Jack in the Box, flips, and she ends up killing him with some garden trowel-like implement.

Blah years later, a psychotherapist (MacDonald) accompanies an RV of her patients to a desert retreat in the Mojave to help them confront their issues, which include a Casanova complex, alcoholism, PTSD, and a hot blonde chick with nymphomania. Naturally, non-hot blonde chicks are never cast in this role.

There are arguments and insults, minimal psycho babble and, after the approximate amount of time it takes for a glacier to form, one of them has their throat cut.

In the morning, the murder is discovered and everyone blames the PTSD ‘Nam vet dude, then believe him when he denies it… They decide to split into pairs: Two stay with the immobilized RV, and the others go in alternate directions to find help.

The Pop Goes the Weasel playing Jack in the Box appears and more throat slashings occur: Apparently you can actually continue screaming despite such a fatal wound.

Despite the foreknowledge that the child murderer was female, Blood Frenzy tosses in a so-so twist on the expected outcome, paving a way for quite a decent round of fisticuffs between the final living players coupled with some hilarious overacting. But with only seven central cast members, you can’t make too many incorrect guesses either way.

Echoes of Death Valley and The Hills Have Eyes rebound off the arid landscape, and a few amusing lines of Direlogue lighten things up, but ultimately it wasn’t worth the wait. Sad times.

Blurb-of-interest: Lisa Loring was in Iced.

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