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Harper’s Island – Episode 6

harpersCumilative body count so far: 9

Nearly at the halfway point and the gore quotient is cranked up a few notches as the shock demise that occurred off screen (but not off audio) at the end of Ep. 5 is revealed in all it’s gruesome glory as a ‘head spade’ (what is this??) slices its way through the face of the father of the bride…

Hysterics ensue (not the funny sort, unless you’re watching) and Trish reveals to all that slimy bro-in-law Richard was shagging stepmom Katherine. JD discovers the body of Uncle Marty and, after convincing Henry and Abby that he didn’t rig the chandalier and taking a field trip to the Sheriff’s secret shrine to all that is John Wakefield, they resolve to digging up the body to make sure he’s really dead… They find what looks like a biology class skeleton, but they’re all convinced…

Meanwhile, Sheriff interviews the wedding party and Cal and Chloe – oblivious to the horror – make an attempt to get back the diamond ring lost in Episode 1. Today’s kill occurs at the end of the episode again, a nice grisly harpooning… It looks as if the rest of the series will be shifted into the gear of terror! Yay! …And where’s Jimmy the fisherman, eh? Hmm…

Harper’s Island – Episodes 3, 4 & 5

harpersCumilative body count so far: 8

I had a little Harper-thon on Friday night and watched the last three episodes back to back. While it’s safe to say things are getting better, there’s still a sense of reservation about this series that bugs me a bit…

One of the girls who died in Episode 2 went without mention all the way through 3 and possibly 4 until somebody mentioned she’d gone back to the mainland and would return for the wedding. I’m sure this was totally omitted and it felt like the script had to backtrack to cover up something it’d forgotten…

Anyhoo, as I can’t distinguish between what happened in which of the three I watched, details could be out of chronological order here… While our final girl Abby reaquaints herself with her father, the Sheriff, father of the bride Thomas decides to send his daughter’s sleazy ex away having failed in his bid to win her affection and ruin the wedding. Henry and his frat pals charter a boat for a day of fishing and find a speedboat with a dead body aboard and a bag containing $250,000 which they bicker over, eventually ending in the most ridiculous death so far when a character dies from shooting themself in the leg and bleeding out. No murder that episode! No, just death-by-stupidity.

There’s some stuff about an affair between Trish’s stepmother and brother-in-law; a psychic comes to read for the girls’ bachelorette gig and creepy kid Madison says the spirits told her she’d never get to be a flower girl. The psychic freaks Abby out with some assembly-line cryptic rubbish: ‘you must leave, you will die, blah blah blah…’

Episode 5 was where things took a leap as Trish and her dad were accosted by a rabid dog and Abby discovered that her father is obsessed with the idea that John Wakefield (her mom’s killer) is still alive and killing elsewhere, an idea Kelly had alluded to before she was murdered. Things end with the death of one of the major characters that occurs in front of everyone else – or does it? We cut to black before it could be definitively chalked up so we’ve got to wait two damn weeks for Episode 6…

I’m still betting on the same suspect as I did in Episode 2, mainly because it’s the kind of thing American shows tend to ‘do’, but I hope it’s not that simple.

Harper’s Island – Episode 2

harpersCumilative Body Count so far: 5

Dire-logue: “Do as you like: hunt, fish, kill – I don’t care.”

Week 2 on the Island of Death for us and the mystery thickens like milkshake that’s in danger of spending too long in the mixer…

Abby meets Kelly, an islander whose mom was another of the Wakefield victims seven years earlier, then she spends time with her ex-beau Jimmy and his dickheaded friend Shane and there’s mucho talk about how they all used to get along or, in some cases, didn’t.

First to bite it is a friendly old Reverand and then the wedding guests embark on a scavenger hunt around the island, conveniently splitting them up into smaller groups and making easier targets for the killer.

Some characters are totally absent, but they could still be involved…and I’m thinking there are maybe two killers, or three!! No creepy little girl today and, for me, no suspects as yet. Can we discount anybody though – even Abby could be the psycho, stranger things have happened. Definitely a progression from week 1, it looks like the murders might be discovered next time…

Harper’s Island – Episode 1

harpers

Body Count: 2

Now this is something you don’t see every day month year ever, a TV slasher series. Messiah kinda dipped its toes into the water, but Harper’s Island appears to be – on the evidence of the first episode – an out n’ out stalk-a-slash-a-hack-a-kill-a-thon.

OK, so episode one, entitled Whap, wasn’t actually that engaging, but it was adequate enough to beckon me back like some strange noise I heard coming from the shed one rainy night…

The titular island is reportedly 37 miles off the coast of Seattle where some dude killed a dozen or so people a few years earlier. It’s also the place where loved-up younguns Henry (guy who played, uh…Henry in Ugly Betty) and Trish (Katie Cassidy from the Black Christmas “remake”) want to get married and so invite their respective family and friends for the occasion, which looks like it’s going to take more than a couple of days. Good luck getting time off work.

Amongst the attendees is Abby (Elaine Cassidy – who reminds me of Maddy from Friday the 13th Part VII), whose mom was one of the murder victims and who hasn’t returned to Harper’s Island since. Read: the final girl. She’s Henry’s friend from childhood. Trish’s family are mega-super-rich and her Dad (Richard Burgi) doesn’t seem happy about her betrothment (!?) to former yacht-scrubber Henry and might have plans to ensure the wedding never happens.

Never mind mate, someone’s already trimming the guest list – bwa-ha-haaaa!!! Yes, the uncle who never shows is strapped to the propeller shaft beneath the boat that takes the group to the cursed isle and so goes head first into the blades as they launch – and of course, on a boat taking some forty people out to sea, not one person looks over the stern and says “ew, Cindy, like where did that blood come from?”

Various characters are introduced, who range from witless guests, family, a creepy-ass kid, evident red herrings, island dwellers who all know about Abby and one totally off-screen serial killer who dispenses with another poor schmuck before the end of the episode. It’s frankly too soon to guess who or even why, but you can bet your ass it’s something to do with the murders of olde and the rich family. We shall see… uh, unless it gets cancelled as Stateside it’s already been shifted to a rubbish weekend night slot. However, as all thirteen episodes have been shot, hopefully it’ll play out.

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