Category Archives: VIP’s of Slasherdom

VIP’s of Slasherdom: Shelly

The Prankster wasn’t always a staple of teenie-kill horror films, while there was Ned in the original Friday the 13th, pretending to drown to kiss a girl, and Scott pranking Terry in Part 2, the ingredients really came together in the third movie, and the inclusion of just another Jason victim was a lot more important than initially intended…

It’s Shelly!

Shelly

“Are you guys doing something I shouldn’t see?”

Missive: The Shell (Larry Zerner, later spotted in an episode of Fame), like most other teen boys in slasherdom, just wants to get some. But he’s a little overweight, a lot undercool. So rather than skinny dip for attention, he plays jokes, jokes that usually misfire badly…

Repertoire: The Shellster’s gags fittingly revolve around scaring folk: He fake stabs his buddy, plays dead to scare whiny-heroine Chris, can out-juggle any man, and – most crucially – scares his date Vera by leaping from the water with a speargun and wearing a hockey mask. Hmm…

Why we love him: First and foremost, The Shell is responsible for endowing Jason with his trademark face gear. Respect. But beyond that, as the earliest incarnation of the stereotypical prankster, Shelly isn’t just a shallow jerk with nothing else but his gags, he has feelings too, goddammit! He also won’t stand for being a victim (well, with one obvious exception) and reaps revenge on the bikers who abuse Rick’s beautiful VW Bug. Admit it, of all the characters in Part III, he’s the only one anyone really remembers.

Shelly – we *heart* you.

VIP’s of Slasherdom: Violet

Jenny Lo nominates third inductee to the Slasherdom Hall of Whateverâ„¢ – Friday the 13th Part V‘s sub-Madonna, robo-dancing punkster Violet, played by the lovely Tiffany Helm. One of the troubled residents of the Unger Institute in the middle of the woods, poor Vi just wants to dance, dance, dance through her problems. Whatever they are.

Alas, “Jason” puts an end to that path of therapy with a swift machete to the chest.

#…there’s a man with no life in his eyezzzz…#

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Talents: Violet can do laundry but has a habit of forgetting co-residents have died when setting the table.
Attitude: Introverted and a little short-fused. But she’s sorry, alright? She. Said. She. Was. SAWRY!!!
Why we love her: The hair. The ‘tude. That dance.

VIP’s of Slasherdom: Bub

At the request of reader @horrordad, our second inductee to the Slasherdom Hall of Whateverâ„¢ is stoner shelf-stacker extraordinaire, Bub, of awesomely gooey supermarket slasher, Intruder, played by Burr Steers, who went on to have an impressive Hollywood career, appearing in Pulp Fiction, and directing Zac Efron flick 17 Again, amongst other pursuits.

“Brain hemorrhage!”

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Missive: To fritter his earnings from the Walnut Lane Market on pot and then claim unemployment.

Backstory: He was once nearly killed by checkout girl Jennifer’s psychotic ex, saved only when his friend hit the attacker repeatedly with a Hamilton Bleech blender.

Why we love him: Bub’s lo-fi stoner schtick – this was the age of Bill & Ted – just make him likable. He also cops one of the more inventively gruesome demises in the film: Head forced into a hydraulic box compressor. Ouch.

VIP’s of Slasherdom: Wendy

While sometimes I wish I was a domestic pet, it’s pretty cool being a human, as a lot of humans are awesome, even those in cheap-ass slasher flicks.

Take Wendy, for instance, the Queen Bitch in Prom Night (played excellently by Eddie Benton/Anne Marie Martin), who stalks the halls of Hamilton High almost as aggressively as the film’s killer. Her mission: Destroy Kim Hammond! She’s pretty much Chris Hargensen (of Carrie) Mk. II.

“Oh, shut up!”

Missive: Humiliate prom king and queen Kim and (ex-boyfriend) Nick, ruining Prom Night for all! No buckets of pig-blood this time.

Attitude: BAD. Wendy tells a changing room full of classmates: “You’re all pathetic!” and plays hardball during a confrontation with good-girl Kim, uttering the infamous line used in all four original PN movies: “It’s not who you go with, it’s who takes you home.”

In her case, the coroner.

Why we love her: Her unrelenting thirst for nasty vengeance and her epic chase scene through the corridors of the school, where she almost out final girl’s Jamie Lee Curtis.

Wendy, though you died and in life were a pain in the ass, you are the first inductee to the VeVo VIP’s of Slasherdom hall of whatever.