Murder! Mystery! Mullets!

NIGHT SCREAMS

1.5 Stars  1987/18/74m

“Tonight their cries will fall on dead ears.”

Director: Allen Plone / Writers: Dillis L. Hart II & Mitch Brian / Cast: Joe Manno, Megan Wyss, Ron Thomas, Janette Allyson Caldwell, John Hines, Jerry Goehring, Randy Lunsford, Susan Lyles, Diana Martin, Mike Roark, Barbara Schoenhofer, Dan Schramm.

Body Count: 15


“David’s so hot!” coo the bitchy high school cheerleaders who he invites to his house party when his folks are away for the weekend. He’s a mulleted scholarship-earning football player who must learn to say no to his father and take his anger meds.

Along with his teammates and the bitchy girls comes sappy girlfriend Joni (who is disliked by the popular girls) and the one couple who are nice to her.

Meanwhile, two escaped convicts have taken shelter in the basement of the house and one of them babbles quasi-Satanic jargon and kills a few of the partiers who venture downstairs as well as his companion.

Another ‘mystery’ killer is at work elsewhere, offing the horrible-haired, barely distinguishable teenagers in a few inventive ways. There’s zero sympathy for anyone so it’s okay to watch them die! die! die!

Curiously, the end credits are padded out with a sort of ‘greatest hits’ recap of what we’ve already seen, expanding said credits to intolerable lengths. However, the UK video had lopped off the beginning murder, in which a couple watching Graduation Day on TV are done in by the loon.

There’s tacked on porno footage that grinds on forever and crap continuity. Look out for the dark-haired guy tossed through the window early on: his stunt double is a peroxide blond.

Figuring out who the killer is isn’t quite as easy as it first seems but who cares? Nobody who’s in the film registers on the empathy scale so feel free to kill ‘em all! And NOBODY gets covered in odd silky webbage as per the cover.

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