Bear Essentials

pandamonium 2020

PANDAMONIUM

2.5 Stars  2020/18/86m

“This panda means business.”

Director: MJ Dixon / Cast: David Hon Ma Chu, Oriana Crystal Charles, Will Jones, Dani Thompson, James Hamser-Morton, Lee Mark Jones, Charlie Bond, Will Marshall, Chloe Badham, Derek Nelson, Tatiana Ibba, Charlie Clarke, Nad Abdoolakhan.

Body Count: 12

Laughter Lines: “This guy is a professional killer, not a Dairylea Triangle.”


On Arielle’s first day as their office junior, the sleazy solicitors of Killmore & Percival decide to throw themselves an after hours party and invite strippers to entertain them. Yes, it’s Psycho Cop Returns anew!

If this weren’t bad enough, the hootenanny is crashed by a suited, panda-masked killer with a thing for big knives and one-liners, and he begins to eliminate the security guard, employees who stayed too late, and finally the drug-addled Sixth Floor assholes and the strippers, while Arielle – an ex-stripper herself – and fellow newbie Daniel try to find a means of escape.

Panda-killer is played by a friend of mine, multidimensional performance artist David Hon Ma Chu, whose dulcet Mancunian tones give the loon an almost cuddly edge, if you could get close enough without receiving a knife in the gut.

pandamonium 2020

The micro-budget means that a lot of the film is done on the cheap, but it has a decent production polish and some amusing moments, my favourite being two of the strippers discussing cleaning products before they’re interrupted by a client and spring into alluring mode.

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