Tag Archives: before they were famous

A lorra lorra confusion

blind date 1984

BLIND DATE

2.5 Stars. 1984/18/106m

“The ultimate hi-tech thriller.”

Director/Writer: Nico Mastorakis / Writer: Fred Perry / Cast: Joseph Bottoms, Kirstie Alley, Keir Dullea, Lana Clarkson, James Daughton, Charles Nicklin.

Body Count: 5


Greek exploitation director Nico Mastorakis turned in this good looking techno giallo, which doesn’t make a whoooole lotta sense.

The ever-amusingly named Joseph Bottoms is an American working in Athens, who is still not over the death of his model ex-girlfriend, but is going out with Kirstie Alley’s …whatever Kirstie Alley is in this movie.

Meanwhile, a shadowy taxi driver is picking up young women, drugging and drawing lines on their nude bodies, and then going at them with a scalpel. Well, supposedly, there’s barely a shaving cut’s amount of blood to be seen. Interestingly, the sole male victim is the only one we see offed.

blind date marina sirtis 1984

One night, Joseph is spying on a lookalike of the dead ex while she’s making out with a guy in a car. They see him, the man gives chase, and Joseph runs into a branch and knocks himself out, waking up blind. The doctors, however, cannot find anything wrong with him and suggest it’s a trauma-induced psychological thing.

Keir Dullea implants a device that will convert signals to Joseph’s nervous system via headphones and Walkman or something, and he sees outlines of everything like an Etch-a-Sketch on dark mode. His stalking with the lookalike brings him to witnessing the murder of another poor soul; the killer sees and gives chase. Joseph decides to later find the killer and manages to steal a car and drive it through the city, despite seeing a bunch of lines like a low-rent version of A-Ha’s Take on Me video.

blind date 1984

Blind Date is a strange one: The police are nowhere to be seen, meaning most of the murders seem surplus to requirements, the victims mostly given no lines whatsoever, just seen topless and pathetic – including Deanna Troi actress Marina Sirtis as a hooker; elsewhere there are gay (?) showtune singing muggers, cerebral Pong, driving around with headphones on, the promise of a sequel that never was at the end of the credits, but also some nice visuals, a sexy cast and all the usual silly coincidences that pepper this subgenre.

Blurbs-of-interest: Bottoms was later in Open House; Keir Dullea was in the original Black Christmas. Mastorakis directed the opening scenes of Darkroom.

“A boy’s best friend is his mother”

mother's day 1980

MOTHER’S DAY

2.5 Stars  1980/91m

“I’m so proud of my boys – they never forget their mama.”

Director/Writer: Charles Kaufman / Writer: Warren Leight / Cast: Nancy Hendrickson, Deborah Luce, Tiana Pierce, Frederick Coffin [as Holden McGuire], Billy Ray McQuade, Rose Ross.

Body Count: 6


A few crossover elements with stock slasher elements see this eyebrow-cocking rape revenge comedy included here.

A trio of college friends, now in their thirties, gather for their annual trip and, this year, venture into the woods stalked by a couple of hicks, who abduct them for sex slaves at the backwoods cabin they share with their domineering mother.

When one of the women dies after escaping, the remaining pair decide to return to the shack to unleash vengeance on the family, which includes TV-on-the-head, Draino down the throat, and suffocation by inflatable chair!

Little slashing occurs, exhibited only in the opening scene, where a couple of hippies are ambushed – look for the blood splatter that occurs before the weapon has even been swung.

Some amusing moments and the women’s revenge is great, it’s also unexpectedly well made, but nothing more than a passing curiosity. Curiously, several of the cast members go by different names outside of this production.

In the shadow of the rainbow

cruising 1980

CRUISING

4 Stars  1980/18/102m

“Al Pacino is cruising for a killer.”

Director/Writer: William Friedkin / Writer: Gerald Walker / Cast: Al Pacino, Paul Sorvino, Richard Cox, Karen Allen, Don Scardino, Joe Spinell, Jay Acovone, Randy Jurgensen, James Remar, Ed O’Neill, William Russ, Powers Boothe, Gene Davis.

Body Count: 5

Laughter Lines: “C’mere. I wanna show you my night stick.”


How many 80s/90s films dealt with ye olde sexy police woman going undercover as a stripper/hooker/exotic dancer to weed out a serial killer? Tons. Literally, this was the plot to every third steamy late night cable thriller back in the day.

So it says quite a bit about social attitudes that inverting the template, inserting a male cop into a gay environment where he has to blend in – really blend in – resulted in critics mauling the film, protesting from gay rights groups concerned about the depictions in the film, and, to this day, fierce online debates about it all.

cruising 1980 shades

Friedkin’s bleak, grimy film takes place in ’79-’80 New York City, where the discovery of dismembered body parts in the Hudson River leads investigating detectives to trace victims to the seedy underground leather scene. Enter Pacino’s Steve Burns, selected by his superior given his physical similarity to several of the victims. Burns agrees (somewhat eagerly) to go undercover and infiltrate the community to try and lure the killer.

His girlfriend (Allen) is kept in the dark and, as Burns goes deeper into the clubs, bars, and general life, he finds himself torn in two directions. The leather-clad, silky voiced killer, meanwhile, continues slaying men in public park cruising grounds and a porno theater, often heard singing a little rhyme in a creepy tone. The cops begin focusing on a suspect who works in a steakhouse that has many of the same type of knife being used, and Burns hangs out with his sweet natured playwright neighbour, Ted.

cruising al pacino paul sorvino 1980

Friedkin deliberately fucks with us throughout, changing which actor plays the killer more than once in difference scenes to disorientate and confuse – at one point, an actor who played the killer then switches to be the next victim (although all are overdubbed by James Sutorius). Such is the interchangeability of the larger situation, the homogenic aesthetics of the scene, and the ambiguity around the film’s coda.

Cruising is a confronting vehicle, likely especially for heterosexual audiences in 1980, with the added discomfort of watching men casually and intimately touch the ‘straight’ lead. Gay men remain divided on it; at a time then gay rights were gaining a little bit of traction (just prior to the AIDS crisis), protestors saw the film (based on a novel and a series of genuine, unsolved murders) as a step back towards optics they were trying to distance themselves from: Predatory, sex-fuelled, vampire-esque lifestyles of hedonism that, by day, could be the guy at the store, at the gas station, waiting your table…

cruising 1980 al pacino

Around 40 minutes of footage was excised over around fifty submissions to the MPAA which, according to Friedkin, mostly consisted of X-rated antics captured at the clubs. It does feel like something is missing as we speed towards the end, but the is-it-or-isn’t-it note things end on is, it seems, likely intentional and plays into the is-he-or-isn’t-he nature of existing as a gay person in society, especially at that point.

But it is a slasher film? Hmm… like a leather daddy straddles his sub, Cruising can play around with versatility. More than enough is borrowed from stalk n’ slash antics for it to be of interest (oddly, the film it reminded me of most was Maniac, from which Joe Spinell plays a skeezy beat cop here). It’s probably too high-end, too polished, despite the filthy gutter it plays in, to qualify, but …why the hell not? Taste the rainbow.

cruising 1980 al pacino

Decidedly not for all audiences – gay or straight – relievingly non-judgmental about the counter culture it explores, and exquisitely shot. Have fun spotting all the before-they-were-famous faces: Ed O’Neill, Powers Boothe, James Remar, Burr DeBenning.

Blurbs-of-interest: Don Scardino was the lead in He Knows You’re Alone; Joe Spinell was also in The Last Horror Movie; James Remar was in The Surgeon; Gene Davis (the crossdressing informant, DaVinci) played the nudie killer in 10 to Midnight; Burr DeBenning was in A Nightmare on Elm Street 5.

100 favourite slasher movie characters – Part III

There’s no order to this, just a celebration of my fave characters over the years, largely (but not entirely) ignoring final girls and killers. (Some spoilers though – boooo).

*

mrs voorhees betsy palmer friday the 13th 1980MRS VOORHEES

Played by Betsy Palmer

In Friday the 13th (1980)

Why? The mom of all moms – in horror terms at least – woe to the first-time viewer of Friday the 13th who assumed the killer would be grizzly dude in a mask, but turned out to be the kindly middle-aged lady who is part-possessed by the spirit of her ‘dead’ son.

Quote? “Come dear… it’ll be easier for you than it was for Jason.”

*

ARCHarch thomas f. wilson april fool's day 1986

Played by Thomas F. Wilson

In April Fool’s Day (1986)

Why? Jocks who just want to get laid in slasher films usually evoke very little sympathy, as they usually have very little character. April Fool’s Day is an irregularity in this regard, giving us a bunch of college kids with added depth and, consequently, likeability.

Quote? “I’m on a mission here, a mission to bed as many women as humanly possible.”

*

taryn white a nightmare on elm street 3 dream warriors jennifer rubin 1987

TARYN

Played by Jennifer Rubin

In A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Why? Of the ‘Dream Warrior’ kids at Westin Hills hospital, recovering addict Taryn was easily my favourite. Edgy and sarcastic, but resolute and determined, she’s ready to take Freddy on.

Quote? “In my dreams I’m beautiful… and bad.”

*

MINDYmindy meeks-martin scream 2022 jasmine savoy brown

Played by Jasmine Savoy Brown

In Scream (2022)

Why? As niece of Randy Meeks, Mindy slides effortlessly into his place (and Kirby’s) as the walking Wiki on horror convention, being the one to discern that the new killer is making a ‘requel’ this time, and later getting to be part of a sort of infinity mirror moment as she advises Randy’s Stab character to turn around while he advises Jamie Lee Curtis to turn around, all the while herself needing to turn around…

Quote? “You need to build something new. But not too new or the Internet goes bug-fucking-nuts.”

*

natalie alicia witt urban legend 1998NATALIE

Played by Alicia Witt

In Urban Legend (1998)

Why? As far as final girls go in the 90s slasher cycle, Alicia Witt gave it a slightly reserved skew to distinguish Natalie from Sidney Prescott’s ass-kickery and Jennifer Love Hewitt’s squealing. As a flawed, slightly self-righteous character, she’s more interesting than most of her contemporaries and a major selling point for the movie.

Quote? “This was someone’s life, Paul. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

*

RICKYhack 2007 justin chong

Played by Justin Chong

In Hack! (2007)

Why? Gay characters had been sorely absent from horror throughout the 80s (unless they were the killer), so once the 00s came around it was great to see an influx of theatrical boys in the ranks. Ricky camps it up nicely, singing Fame to stave off the scares as he waits alone in the woods on an island with more than one homicidal maniac running around on it.

*

ralph marcia the initiation 1983MARCIA & RALPH

Played by Marilyn Kagan & Trey Stroud

In The Initiation (1983)

Why? Another film with surprisingly well drawn characters, Marcia is the sex-phobic pledge Ralph the wannabe comedian who eventually shows his sensitive side in a sweet shared scene – and then both are immediately killed.

Quote? “[Sex] again?” / “It’s customary at our age.”

*

BUBbub intruder burr steers 1988

Played by Burr Steers

In Intruder (1988)

Why? As far as horror movie stoners go, Burr has got to be near the top of the stack. Near-continuously zoned out from his duties, he meets a very nasty end, but was hopefully too spaced to really notice.

Quote? “I swear to God. If my brother hadn’t hit him in the head repeatedly with a blender, he would’ve killed me!”

*

lovers lane 1999 anna farisJANELLE

Played by Anna Faris

In Lovers Lane (1999)

Why? Another archetype is the slutty cheerleader character. However, in Lovers Lane, pre-stardom Anna Faris makes Janelle a friendly new-girl whose death-by-hook feels unjustly cruel.

*

MRS SLATERmrs slater the house on sorority row 1982

Played by Lois Kelso Hunt

In The House on Sorority Row (1982)

Why? Cranky housemother Mrs Slater rules the Pi Theta sorority with an iron fist – and iron cane. Permanently annoyed, her inflexibility quite literally becomes the death of her. Gotta love these no-bull matriarch types though. Her in a girl group with Mother Superior and Mrs Voorhees would be awesome.

Quote? “If that gun is real, all you girls are going to be in real trouble.”

“Are those… PUSSY willows?”

serial mom 1994

SERIAL MOM

4.5 Stars  1994/18/90m

“Every woman wants to be wanted …just not for Murder One.”

Director/Writer: John Waters / Cast: Kathleen Turner, Sam Waterston, Ricki Lake, Matthew Lillard, Scott Morgan, Walt MacPherson, Justin Whalin, Patricia Dunnock, Mink Stole, Mary Jo Catlett.

Body Count: 7

Laughter Lines: “You’re bigger than Freddy and Jason now – only you’re a real person!”


Unequalled satirist John Waters skewered America’s unhealthy obsession with serial killers in this razor-witted cult classic, which functions as a slasher movie when you zoom out a bit and take stock of the elements. Spoilers follow.

Kathleen Turner is just perfect as Beverly Sutphin, all-American mom and model citizen of suburban Baltimore. But when the behaviour of others conflicts with her orthodox view of the world, she tends to get a little …stabby. First to go is son Chip’s math teacher, who criticises his obsession with horror movies and suggests it may be indicative of family problems. Beverly mows him down with her car.

serial mom 1994

This coincides with a police investigation into obscene calls (and mail) made to neighbour (and so-called friend) Dottie Hinkle, all because she took a parking space from her one time. These phone calls may well be the most hilarious scene in the film, as is the moment when Beverly decides to out herself as the caller.

While somehow managing to prop up the outward illusion of being the perfect mom, Beverly offs daughter Misty’s sort-of boyfriend, a suburban couple she takes a dislike to, a rude customer of Chip’s video store, and her son’s best friend who witnesses one of her murders and is, himself, done away with during an L7 concert – the audience cheering as he burns to death and the lead singer spits vodka on his corpse.

serial mom 1994 kathleen turner

As any serial killer documentary should, things end with a grandiose trial, where Beverly continues to manage to thwart the attempts of the prosecution repeatedly, winning everybody over. Waters continues to crank the satire, with nods to serial murderer groupies, the family selling out to the merchandise racket (Misty sells t-shirts and badges showing her mom’s face during the court recesses – “could you sign it to a future serial mom?”), and the whole circus of the courtroom, including the arrival of Suzanne Somers, who is slated to play Beverly in the movie.

When you account for Beverly’s means of execution, it tallies with the general slasher movie consensus of no two people dying the same way: Murder by fire poker, scissors, air-con unit, and leg of lamb! The victims adhere to a sort of forgotten anonymity in a further glance to the culture of western media’s apparent preference to glorify the killer rather than those they killed.

serial mom matthew lillard ricki lake sam waterston

These things aside, Serial Mom still functions best as an uproarious comedy, so black and wicked at times that it feels dirty. The courtroom swear-off between Dottie and Beverly is the stuff of legend, and in addition there are endless barbed lines, gross-out humour (Chicks-with-Dicks won’t go unforgotten), and frankly ridiculous coincidences that only lend themselves positively to the whole product.

Enough cannot be said to highlight just how good Kathleen Turner is in the role, expertly pivoting the vail between sanity and seeing red; she’s able to change in a snap from affable friendly mom to frightening psychopath.

serial mom kathleen turner wink

I’ve been against classifying Serial Mom as a slasher movie for a while, but it can be denied no more that it certainly utilises more than a fair share of the template to get where it’s going.

Blurbs-of-interest: Matthew Lillard went on to star in Scream; Justin Whalin was the lead in Child’s Play 3; John Waters played the paparazzi in Seed of Chucky.

1 2 3 28