Tag Archives: death on campus

To Sir With Love. And Murder.

tp1TEACHER’S PET

2 Stars  2000/18/89m

A.k.a. Devil in the Flesh 2

“She’s not your average student.”

Director: Marcus Spiegel / Writer: Richard Brandes / Cast: Jodi Lyn O’Keefe, Jsu Garcia, Katherine Kendall, Jeanette Brox, Bill Gratton, Todd Robert Anderson, Christiana Frank, Sarah Lancaster.

Body Count: 6


While it may shock some to comprehend how Rose McGowan girl-stalker-slasher flick Devil in the Flesh did enough to spawn its own sequel, accept now that Rose has morphed into Jodi Lyn O’Keefe as Debbie Strang, the older-man-loving bunny boiler in what’s essentially Debbie Does College.

While McGowan was off being Mrs Marilyn Manson and thus skipped the sequel, Jodi instead becomes the syringe and hairdryer-toting schizo who begins by escaping your garden variety low-security sanitarium to kill and replace Sarah Lancaster’s college-bound rich kid and takes a creative writing course led by sub-Clooney tutor Garcia (known to us as Rod from A Nightmare on Elm Street).

Problems arise when her temper gets the better of her and she kills a few extras until she is eventually found out and the slapdash finale that recycles the ending of both the first film and also Urban Legend, before staple-gunning an unexceptional twist on to it.

As the first round, the film cannot seem to decide if it wants to be an all-out dead teenager affair or a sultry thriller, so things end up back in T&A county with only a handful of interesting elements: Brox is good as O’Keefe’s nerdy roommate Laney (ironically the name of the school dork who dated O’Keefe’s character’s boyfriend in She’s All That), who is set up as the possible heroine, but replaced by the far less interesting Kendall.

If you can look past these sorts of TV-movie irks, Teacher’s Pet is entertaining enough straight-to-video fodder.

Blurbs-of-interest: O’Keefe was Sara in Halloween H20; Sarah Lancaster was in Lovers Lane; Jsu Garcia previously acted as Nick Corri for his Elm Street role.

Equal opportunity objectification

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FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE

3 Stars  2008/116m

“Rush week at this college just got a lot more dangerous…”

Director/Writer: Alex Pucci / Writer: Draven Gonzalez / Cast: Jon Fleming, Rane Jameson, Niki Notarile, Chris Prangley, Lisa DiCicco, Andrew Giordano, Michael Galante, Ryan Ross, Adam Simon, Georgia Gladden, Bethany Taylor, Jim Ford.

Body Count: 28 (give or take)


This head-scratchingly odd indie film comes from the makers of Camp Daze. No, hey, don’t go – it’s nowhere near that bad!

Beginning in that wonderful year of my birth – 1978 – newly graduated high-schooler Bobby goes off to party with friends, only to end up in a coma after a car accident. His big bro, Sean, returns to college, where his Delta Iota Espilon (DIE, naturally) fraternity brothers take hazing new pledges to the extremes – they kill them.

Why? It’s never really addressed, it just is. But it begs the question: How do they replenish their numbers? The head of this sadistic snake is frat president Mark (Kerr Smith-a-like Fleming), who takes great pleasure in getting desperate freshmen to blow their own brains out or cut their own throats. Bodies are later devoured by pigs at a nearby farm.

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Sean’s guilt over his brother leads him to try and leave the frat, only to be murdered by his ‘brothers’. At the same time, Bobby awakes from his coma and, come the fall of 1979, goes off to the same college – revenge being the class he most looks forward to.

More dumb pledges are killed, Bobby gets angrier. And soon, members of the fraternity and some girlfriends begin dying ahead of a big disco party, which, we know, will see the killer go for gold.

While it all sounds run of the mill, like Camp DazeFrat House Massacre doesn’t exactly shy away from its homoerotic undertones: There’s T&A as usual, but also some frontal male nudity, lots of ass, and no shortage of hard bodied young men in nothing but tighty-whities. That said, nothing ‘gay’ happens in the film. The frat boys are a bunch of nasty misogynists, but scenes where one of them masturbates from the door whilst watching a couple have sex, and the so-close-they-might-kiss whispers in the ears Mark does to the pledges… It dances along the line, never crossing it, but flirting with the idea. Possibly an allegory for the American fraternity experience? Who knows, we don’t have them in Europe.

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The late-70s setting works well, not too far off the achievements of The House of the Devil in terms of look and feel, with all the clothing, disco tunes (courtesy of Claude Simonetti, no less), cars, and ornaments you could imagine. The only flaw is hair. Everyone’s hair gives them away as being ‘of the now’ (and Fleming’s eyebrows come to think of it).

Brutal and bloody, way too long (though I read there is a sub-100 minute cut), and confusing come the end with it’s supernatural plot device, but revenge is most certainly served, and the identity of the killer is not quite as cut n’ dried as predicted.

Blurbs-of-interest: Fleming and Taylor were both in Camp Daze; Jim Ford was in Knock Knock.

Girls school confidential

BLOODMOON

3 Stars 1989/18/101m

“The last full moon you’ll ever see.”

Director: Alec Mills / Writer: Robert Brennan / Cast: Leon Lissek, Christine Amor, Helen Thomson, Ian Williams, Craige Cronnin, Hazel Howson, Christophe Broadway, Suzie MacKenzie, Anya Molina, Samantha Rittson, Jo Munro, Michelle Doake.

Body Count: 10


Soppy Neighbours-esque romance is married to some Friday the 13th shenanigans in this fairly impressive Aussie flick that has the one major flaw of revealing the killer’s identity about a third of the way through the film.

The girls of St Elizabeth’s boarding school are being offed by a shadowy killer, who uses a length of barbed wire to garrotte them, along with the occasional boyfriend. Pretty daughter-of-someone-famous Mary is unknowingly high on the killer’s list.

The stalk n’ slash scenes are well handled, a standout being when two girls sneak into the school to steal an exam paper and run into the killer, who quickly dispatches one and chases after the other.

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Bloodmoon, however, commits that cardinal sin of allowing one particularly unpleasant character to live, when hoards of comparably innocent ones have been laid to waste. Elsewhere, excess T&A negates some of the up-market style, but for an alt perspective teenie-kill film, it hits enough of the right notes. Just ignore some of the crimes against hair.

Lies! So many lies!

NIGHT OF THE DRIBBLER

1 Stars  1990/88m

Director: Jack Bravman / Writer: Maurice Thevenet / Cast: Fred Travalena, Gregory Calpakis, Flavia Carrozzi, Bill Saddler, Cynthia Mantel, Michael Sullivan, Glenn Scott, Brigitte-Anne Pelletier, Georges Thomas.

Body Count: 2

Laughter Lines:  “Last time I saw faces like that was on the court 51 seconds ago.”


About as misleading as anything could be, this Canadian ‘comedy’ may look like it’s about a masked loon doing in basketball players, but this takes up about 8% of the runtime. There’s a reason the film was not released in the US for almost twenty years.

Essentially a vehicle for late comedian Fred Travalena, he plays three roles: The basketball coach, a commentator named Dick Airhead, and the detective investigating attacks on the revolving captains of the Watergate High Plumbers – only two of which are fatal – a crappy team who haven’t won a game in decades.

Waterboy Stan wants a chance to play – is he the one is the basketball mask rigging equipment? Probably not. But who cares when the film is so exhaustively painful? Slasher parodies were already worn out by 1982 and Night of the Dribbler brings nothing to the table, earning that extra half-star for non-awful production values and maybe two jokes I quietly smirked at.

Blurb-of-shame: Bravman also directed the almost-as-bad Zombie Nightmare.

Die mittelmäßigen film

SCHOOL’S OUT

2.5 Stars  1999/94m

“This class is dying to graduate.”

Director: Robert Sigl / Writer: Kal Meyer / Cast: Katharina Wackernagel, Niels Bruno Schmidt, Marlene Meyer-Dunker, Nils Nellessen, Rita Lengyel, Urs Remond, Sandra Leonhard, Enie van de Maiglockjes, Raphael Vogt.

Body Count: 7

Laughter Lines: “Wine in a plastic class is like a blowjob with a condom.”


The native title of this German made-for-TV stalker flick translates as Scream! For I Will Kill You!, which clues us in on where many of its ideas came from.

At their high school graduation party, a quintet of teen friends concoct some spider-themed pranks for their teachers as a sort of final goodbye treat for themselves. Nina and Tom are having relationship troubles; Anne is worried she may have contracted AIDS, and Philip and Eva just want to party! But what happened to Jessica? Why didn’t she ever turn up? Could it have something to do with the escape of a psychopathic killer from an institution eleven years after he stabbed several women with a huge pair of scissors… Scissors very similar to the pair Eva bought along with her to aid the group’s prank setup?

Before long, the kids are being stalked and skewered by a masked maniac in a harlequin costume, replete with requisite snippers. The first hour of this slickly pieced-together number is involving and nostalgic for early 80s campus slashers. However, once good-girl Nina is safe and sound in the arms of her detective uncle, the wheels begin to work loose as she and fellow survivor Philip try to suss out what really happened, a curiosity which takes them back to school and forces them into a deadly confrontation.

While its TV origins may be responsible for the tame quotient of grue, School’s Out is still better than many American features that have gotten wider international exposure, making it a worth a look for genre masochists.

Followed by a sequel: Dead Island: School’s Out 2.

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