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Jack the Ripper Retelling #357

from hell 2001

FROM HELL

3.5 Stars  2001/18/117m

“Only the legend will survive.”

Directors: Albert Hughes & Allen Hughes / Writers: Alan Moore, Eddie Campbell, Terry Hayes & Rafael Yglesias / Cast: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Ian Holm, Robbie Coltrane, Ian Richardson, Jason Flemyng, Katrin Cartlidge, Terence Harvey, Susan Lynch, Paul Rhys, Lesley Sharp.

Body Count: 8


If there is any sort of afterlife where the dead can observe the goings-on on Earth, I imagine whoever Jack the Ripper was, he’s chuckling at the sheer number of books, films, and documentaries about him. This time, the tale is grafted into a bleak slasher-cum-mystery box office hit, courtesy of twin-bro directors Albert and Allen Hughes, from the novel by Moore and Campbell.

Johnny Depp – along way from his humble Elm Street victim beginnings – is Abberline, an East End inspector with psychic abilities, who is assigned to find out who killed a local prostitute. True to the events of 1888, the murders continue and Abberline is drawn into the potentially dangerous possibility that the killer is part of a larger conspiracy that could harm the face of the Monarchy.

With a little help from final victim-to-be Mary Kelly (Graham) and the Queen’s ageing surgeon, Abberline begins piecing together the puzzle against the wishes of his pompous superiors, who frown at the theory that a ‘well-bred’ individual might be responsible. Meanwhile, gruesome slayings continue and the reality of the brutal dissections is rammed home – a ferocious throat-slashing sticks out – and the final notoriously stomach-churning act of evil is mercifully hardly shown.

from hell 2001 heather graham

The outcome is satisfying in terms of the world the film operates in, considering it’s unlikely the identity of the real Ripper will ever be 100% certain. The downbeat conclusion suits the grimy backdrop of Whitechapel and the observations of class differences in the era, but the almost I Know What You Did Last Summer-ness of the secret that the victims share requires some stretching of the imagination, that makes this “not just a slasher movie” movie feel more like a slasher movie.

Written out like this, the plot sounds quite stupid, but high-brow big screen slasher films, no matter how opaque they attempt to be, makes From Hell one of the more interesting variables on the genre conventions. Do not confuse with other JTR-pillaging slasher of 2001 Ripper: Letter from Hell.

Blurbs-of-interest: Depp appeared in another period-set slash-a-like Sleepy Hollow; Heather Graham played Casey in Stab in Scream 2; Jason Flemyng was in Seed of Chucky; Terence Harvey was in the 1989 slasher take on The Phantom of the Opera.

Upsetting the Apple Cart

hot fuzz 2007

HOT FUZZ

4 Stars  2007/15/116m

“Big cops. Small town. Moderate violence.”

Director/Writer: Edgar Wright / Writer: Simon Pegg / Cast: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton, Paddy Considine, Rafe Spall, Olivia Colman, Adam Buxton, Kevin Eldon, Anne Reid, Kenneth Cranham, David Threlfall, Lucy Punch, Ron Cook.

Body Count: 17

Laughter Lines: “You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up to the model village!”


Huh? Are we really calling this a slasher film? No, of course not, but let’s also not ignore the fact that a sizeable chunk of Pegg and Frost’s best is just that – with a cloaked mystery killer axing, roasting, shearing, and dropping plinths on to the residents of Sandford.

I’m not massively impressed by Simon Pegg’s schtick usually. Yeah, Shaun of the Dead was funny immediately after Dawn of the Dead (I watched them back to back) and the guy knows his movie shit inside out, but I’m unable to escape a sense of self-satisfaction that more likely comes from all the media gushing than Pegg himself. See also: Ed Sheeran. Weirdly, I love Nick Frost in everything. But let’s forget all that, because Hot Fuzz transcends all of those thought processes with it’s 26-jokes-a-minute tempo.

hot fuzz 2007 simon pegg nick frost

Pegg is Sgt. Nicholas Angel, literally London’s finest who is shipped off to the small country town of Sandford after his superiors become aware he makes the rest of the Metropolitan Police force look bad by comparison. He is the job and the job is everything, which is why his relationship also failed. With no choice in the matter, Angel grumpily plods off to pastures new, where the local force of various inept and unchallenged officers has little to do other than show up at fetes and hunt down wayward swans.

hot fuzz 2007

Angel’s law-is-the-law attitude doesn’t go down well with his new colleagues so none of them are inclined to agree with his hypothesis that a killer may be on the loose when members of the community start dying is grisly ‘accidents’, starting with a double-decapitation by road sign, an explosion, and part of a church spire landing directly on the local journalist’s head, seconds before he was to share valuable information he’d learned with Angel.

hot fuzz 2007 anne reid

Only Nick Frost’s loveable PC, Danny, remains on side, keen to end up in a gun fight right outta Point Break or Bad Boys II, but Angel eventually offends everyone and then finds himself in need of their help once his suspicions turn out to be true and there is not one, not two, but an entire cult of psychotic townsfolk so hell bent on winning Village of the Year, they’re willing to permanently rid the place of anyone who might endanger the trophy. Yes, it’s Scooby Doo on speed.

hot fuzz 2007 simon pegg

Hot Fuzz switches to buddy cop movie for its final act – by way of a few borderline homoerotic near misses – with a huge shoot-out between cops and the kind of sweet middle-aged lady you see pedalling past with flowers in her basket. The film misses nothing in its composite of set pieces, cameos, and the tiniest details, all of which come back to play a valuable part later.

hot fuzz 2007

The only flaw is a gaping hole for a central female role of any real stature, with Olivia Colman’s perky WPC the closest. But this is boys stuff, made for lads by lads, so there’s no time to be wasted on that kind of PC stuff. This came out at the peak of the Pegg/Frost/Wright hype machine, so it would be entirely possible that it’s overrated because of this, but watching it again the other day to write this up, it still had me laughing out loud several times.

hot fuzz 2007

Look for cameos of varying impact from Cate Blanchett, Martin Freeman, Steve Coogan, Bill Nighy, Stephen Merchant, and Peter Jackson.

The Dog’s Bollocks

wilderness 2006

WILDERNESS

4 Stars  2006/15/91m

“It’s not about revenge. It’s about punishment.”

Director: Michael J. Bassett / Writer: Dario Poloni / Cast: Sean Pertwee, Alex Reid, Toby Kebbell, Stephen Wright, Lenora Crichlow, Luke Neal, Ben McKay, Karly Greene, Adam Deacon, Richie Campbell, Stephen Don.

Body Count: 11

Laughter Lines: “So you want me to go out there alone to find another guy out there’s alone, when nobody’s supposed to go out there alone?”


Bollocks = slang term for testicles; also slang for an untruth or lie; The Dog’s Bollocks = something awesome, based on concept that if a dog can lick his own bollocks, they must be tasty.

Coming along during a little renaissance of gritty British horror (28 Days Later…Dog SoldiersThe Descent, and the same director’s Deathwatch), this grisly Anglo/Irish sibling of Wrong Turn with a side of The Final Terror, sees a group of youth detention / juvie hall lads packed off to a remote island for ‘character building’ after their campaign of relentless bullying ends with the suicide of a weaker dorm mate.

Caught up in the blame is newcomer Callum (Kebbell), who just wants to keep his head down, do his time, and live his life, but Hitler Youth type Steve is keen to be as disruptive as possible, much to the chagrin of grizzled guard Jed (Pertwee, givin’ all that). Despite the island being ‘uninhabited’, the group run into a similar outing from a girls’ reform school, with ex-soldier Louise (Reid, from The Descent) leading two wayward girls through the forest. There’s also a reclusive hobo about, who is soon found with his throat chewed out – last person seen stood over the body? Callum.

wilderness 2006 sean pertwee

Only Louise considers that something else is going on, but everyone else is quickly convinced when another of the group disappears, save for a bitten off arm, and Jed is crossbowed to a tree, while a quartet of attack dogs sprint on to the scene and eat him alive. It soon becomes clear somebody is taking revenge for the juvie hall suicide, and has a degree of military training on his side.

wilderness 2006 sean pertwee

The teens are soon on their own, fighting with each other, switching allegiances, and dodging the savage dogs. Callum goes all Lord of the Flies crazy, while Steve is shunned by the others for his selfishness and inability to contribute in any positive way, which results in him killing his only friend. It eventually all comes down to Callum versus the vengeful psychopath, who is an interesting flip on the Mrs Voorhees template. A further minor twist thrown in to give the second survivor something to do while the big boys fight.

wilderness 2006

Wilderness was moderately pre-cut for language to avoid an 18 certificate, but the liberal bloodletting was left intact, which is a surprise given we have people ripped apart by dogs, decapitated, immolated, and falling face first into bear traps. It’s all gruesome stuff, offset by the fact that most of the characters aren’t written much beyond their criminal archetypes, so their sticky demises aren’t particularly undeserved. Louise is the exception in the film, demonstrating smarts and concern for her charges – so it’s obvious she won’t make it out – while some of the young cast members are a bit too well-spoken to convince as thuggish dog fodder.

wilderness 2006 stephen wight

These minor flaws aside, Wilderness holds its own in the brutality stakes. It’s a kick-ass little venture that pretty much went under the radar upon release. Contemporaneous reviews were lukewarm at best and it’s easy to understand why the po-faced, blood-splattered look of it wouldn’t go down with critics as well as, say, Severance, which employed comedy as a bedfellow to its horrors. I prefer this approach though.

wilderness 2006 alex reid toby kebbell

Blurbs-of-interest: Pertwee was in Botched; Adam Deacon was later in Comedown.

Leslie Vernon: The London Years. Mate.

unmasked part 25 1988

UNMASKED PART 25

2.5 Stars  1988/18/85m

“A face only a blind girl could love!”

A.k.a. The Hand of Death Part 25: Jackson’s Back

Director: Anders Palm / Cast: Gregory Cox, Fiona Evans, Edward Brayshaw, Debbie Lee London, Kim Fenton, Howard Martin, Lucy Hornak, Steve Dixon, Marie Kelly, Anna Conrich, Robin Welch, Gary Brown, Annabel Yuresha, Helen Rochelle, Adrian Hough.

Body Count: 16

Laughter Lines: “No sense bothering to run. You’ll get ten feet maybe, run into a branch or stumble over a root…”


This weird satire is like a late-80s British version of Behind the Mask, with Cox as a Jason-esque hockey masked killer who stalks the streets of London, killing young people, until he meets Shelley, last girl at the house party he’s just torn through, who is blind and thinks he’s the date she was waiting on.

Jackson and Shelley begin to date and he tells her of his love of Byron, having read books he took from the bodies of camp counsellors he slayed in America before returning home. They try kinky sexy in a truly weird scene, go to the park, dine together, and she wants to introduce him to her (surviving) friends, which touches a nerve.

unmasked part 25 1988

Jackson’s destitute father reminds him he is a freak whose only purpose is to kill and kill and kill until Jackson succumbs to the pressure, tells Shelley not to attend a party at a country house, and turns up instead to pitchfork, skewer, cleave, and slash the attendees.

Evident budget constraints leave this film looking like an overlong sketch show skit, which is only bookended by Jackson’s killing sprees, which are liberally gory, and the actors conform to quite 19th century stereotypes in terms of their “cor blimey, guv’nor” accents and utterances, except Shelley who is well spoken enough to be a royal.

unmasked part 25

Some amusing insights into stalk n’ slash conventions and a couple of inventive murder setups (a girl offers the killer a blow job to spare her and receives a shattered lightbulb on a lamp base in the mouth instead), plus some frontal male nudity (!) are all mildly diverting aspects, but everything between the first and last fifteen minutes tends to drag.

Didn’t we have a lovely day the day we went to Snape Island?

tower of evil 1972 aka horror of snape island

TOWER OF EVIL

2.5 Stars  1972/18/90m

“They came, they saw, they died!”

A.k.a. Horror on Snape IslandBeyond the Fog

Director: Jim O’Connolly / Writer: Heorge Baxt / Cast: Bryant Haliday, Jill Haworth, Mark Edwards, Jack Watson, Anna Palk, Derek Fowlds, Dennis Price, Anthony Valentine, Gary Hamilton, George Coulouris, Candace Glendenning.

Body Count: 9


This way ahead of its time British chiller bears more than just a passing similarity to the later and greater Hell Night.

When a hysterical naked young woman stabs a sailor dead on fog-surrounded Snape Island, she is brought back to the mainland with an old relic that is of interest to the academics, who stage a trip there to learn more, while the girl is quizzed about the gory murders of her three American friends. Seven folks take a short vacation there only to have it crashed by a shadowy killer who, it turns out, is the son of the stabbed sailor, driven crazy by the loss of his wife.

Very slow moving, which can test your patience, but things kick into gear in the second half and there’s even a formidable final girl sequence.

Blurb-of-interest: Jack Watson was in Pete Walker’s Schizo four years later.

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