Tag Archives: summer camp

I know what you did 25 summers ago

RETURN TO SLEEPAWAY CAMP

3 Stars  2003-2008/87m

“Kids can be so mean.”

Director/Writer: Robert Hiltzik / Cast: Felissa Rose, Vincent Pastore, Paul DeAngelo, Michael Gibney, Jonathan Tiersten, Erin Broderick, Michael Werner, Brye Cooper, Jackie Tohn, Katie Simses, Adam Wylie, Christopher Shand, Shahida McIntosh, Jaime Radow, Isaac Hayes, Lent Venito.

Body Count: 9

Dire-logue: “Well look who’s here – Camp Problem Child.”


Das warningen: spoilers follow…

There are some films where the production legacies draw more attention and hysteria than the films themselves. The 1980 Jaws rip-off The Last Shark is one: pulled from cinemas only weeks into its release after Universal sued for plagiarism. Unfortunately for audiences, these events are more interesting than the movie is. The same can almost be said for Return to Sleepaway Camp

Production of this belated sequel to the 1983 cult sleeper took five long years with the film eventually surfacing on DVD at the end of 2008 after numerous re-toolings and the end product is, well, an interesting mish-mash of good and bad.

Let’s back pedal a bit and recap. Hiltzik wrote and directed the first film, which gained notoreity for its shocking coda that the shy teenage girl not only turned out to be the psycho killer but was also anatomically a boy. In the late 80s video sequels, fully-female Angela returned as a puritanical counsellor at a new summer camp to slaughter bad kids. A third sequel began production in 1992 but was shut down when the company went broke.

With fans of the films divided between those who love the original and those who love the campy 80s sequels (put me in the latter category), the internet age ushered in enough love to prompt Hiltzik to create his own direct sequel, ignoring (but not totally unfurling) parts II and III.

Return to Sleepaway Camp takes us to Camp Manabe and brings back original counsellor Ronnie (DeAngelo) as part owner. Kids play pranks and mess about, smoke dope and uniformally pick on Alan (Gibney), a chubby, hulking kid with a very bizarre personality. Alan may be the victim of choice for the popular kids but is equally cruel to those around him, whines and plays for sympathy from the counsellors and never seems to change his clothes.

Alan is egged, ganged up on during a paintball match and sees his beloved frogs skinned by a couple of nasty little scrotes. He only has eyes for the resident popular blonde but when she participates in one last gag, even her safety is no longer guaranteed…Those who torment Alan eventually begin to meet nasty ends: the sleazy kitchen assistant ends up deep-fried (see September’s Icky Ways to Go), a stoner is forced to toke the joint from hell and the camp owner is eaten alive by rats. Ronnie is first to cry Angela but she’s institutionalized… However, the pacing of the killings doesn’t necessarily match Alan’s meltdown: he eventually snaps around halfway through the film, at which point a couple of people are already dead. And what about Angela? How does she fit in to all this?

The scene-to-scene cohesion is one of the problems with RTSC, which can’t seem to decide how to play out with coherence. Alan is the centrepiece of the film but it’s not clear whether he’s going to be the killer or the hero? Either way, the character ranks as one of the most hideous incarnations to ever (dis)grace the screen. Any sympathy ramped up from the numerous humiliations Alan suffers is dissipated soon after by his nightmare attitude, he often leaves situations he’s created by saying “your ass stinks!” to whomever he’s clashed with.

On the plus side of the fence, we get to see Ricky again and, yes, Angela does make an appearance and yes she is the killer, having been disguised all along – rather feebly – as a character who keeps cropping up. The camp setting is well worked and the comings and goings of the campers is convincing enough.

The crowded background cast gets in the way to some degree; the group of nasty kids mostly meet their deserved ends but some are spared and other victims are still hanging in when they’re found. Angela selects her prey rather haphazardly, going in with a scattergun approach and offing as many as she can during the last half hour or so, including one poor guy’s dick being attached by wire to the towbar of a jeep his spooked girlfriend flees in. Ow is the word.

I did garner some enjoyment from the film. It looks pretty good and the performances are more than adequate for the genre (DeAngelo’s quite possibly excluded) but it’s a real mess that even five years of re-cutting, Felissa Rose’s sixty seconds on camera and an Isaac Hayes cameo can’t untangle and it’s in dire need of a strong lead character, something the original didn’t have either.

I love summer camp slasher flicks and clasp my hands in prayer for more but if the mooted Sleepaway Camp Reunion goes ahead, it’ll need to step up the game considerably to out-do Michael A. Simpson’s made for video sequels, which, by rights should suck but are somehow the heart of the series.

She’ll be back…?

Blurbs-of-interest: Rose, Tiersten and DeAngelo all returned from the original; Rose was also in Camp Dread and Victor Crowley; Isaac Hayes was in Uncle Sam; Adam Wylie was the lead evil brat in Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror.

Icky ways to go: Deep-fried Dickhead

Hailing from Return to Sleepaway Camp, this high in transfats demise was a throwback to the maiming-by-boiling pot from the 1983 original.

Greasy, grubby kitchen assistant Mickey makes the fatal error of egging resident nutjob Alan, whose constant whining and whinging makes him the object-of-hate for not only his fellow campers and counsellors but also anybody watching the film. He’s that much of a twat.

Anyway, somebody begins offing those who are mean to Alan, beginning with Mickey, who is held upside down over a boiling vat of oil until its slippy sides cause him to plunge headfirst into it.

Resulting in this crispy critter… Probably one of the better demises in an otherwise disappointing sequel that took its sweet time to gain a release.

13 things to love about Friday the 13th

It’s that day again… The time of year when a gazillion Jason groupies shove their old VHS into the player and pay tribute to the family Voorhees and all of their unfortunate teenage victims. A bit luckier than Halloween fans who have an unmovable date but once a year.

Anyway, let’s share in my favourite 13 things about Friday the 13th and all glow with a sort of inner harmony. Or just go and watch one of them.

1. CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE

campcrystallake1aOh how I love the very notion of Camp Crystal Lake. What a fucking amazing name for a summer camp. None of this patronising theft of Native American words to make it sound all rustic and wildernessy, pure and simple and yet just a little bit spooky, living up to its reputation as Camp Blood.

2. FLOATY HEAD MRS VOORHEES

Surely no one can deny the coolness of the blurry, floaty head of Mrs Voorhees at the climax of Part 2; “it’s all done, Jason… You’ve done your job well and mommy is pleased.” And poor, lost puppy-like Jay buys into it for a few moments, reminding us all that he’s only doing what he does because he misses his mommy.

3. REPETITION

friday-repBodies are tossed through windows, blades shoot through bunks into victims and, seen here, trussed corpses spring from trees, but only when the final girl is about…

4. TALES ‘ROUND THE OLE CAMPFIRE

f3aA favourite ingredient in the genre of mine, rooting from here I imagine, the scary tale around the fire, a telling of the creepy local legend. I was happy to see that they resurrected the scenario in the 2009 reboot.

5. AMY STEEL

THE Friday final girl of choice for many, Amy perfected the role of Ginny in Part 2, using her skills as a child psych major to best Jason and ultimately survive. Subsequent heroines of Crystal Lake were good but they paled in comparison to the powerhouse of final girl-dom that is Amy.

6. TITS! TITS! TITS!

f13-boobsI’ve never much seen the reason for the endless toplessness at Crystal Lake but it offends me not. I quite like the ridiculous scenarios that initiate the quick removal of blouses and bras. A New Beginning and the reboot are tied with the most nudity and, conversely to those only casually familiar with the films, there’s no skin at all in Jason Lives and only fleeting glimpses in the original, Part III and Jason Takes Manhattan. How the hell do I know this shit!?

7. RIDICULOUS METHODS OF RESURRECTION

So he can survive a machete in the shoulder and an axe in the head but once he was properly ‘killed’ by Tommy Jarvis, Jason found some obscure methods of coming back from the dead over and over – or rather these ways found him: lightning bolt, underwater electrical current and even psychic chick, proving you can’t keep a good psycho down.

8. THE SACK

Baghead_jasonBefore the iconic hockey mask, there was the sack. Hell, it creeped me out big time when I first saw it. That lone eyehole combined with the dungarees and the check shirt making Jay look like some sort of mutant potato sack head farmer.

9. FACES OF THE FUTURE

f13-futureConsidering there are 12 films in the franchise to date, it’s a curiosity that there are only a handful of well known names dotted throughout its history… Kevin Bacon is likely to forever remain the most famous actor associated with the series prior to his fame ‘kicking in’. Little Corey Feldman debuted in The Final Chapter alongside Crispin Glover and sorta-famous Kelly Hu played Eva in Jason Takes Manhattan.

10. INTRINSIC 80’s STYLE

The 80s were littered with unique self-styling, from the mullets scarcely seen through the Jason movies to this, a whole look best summed up by punk guitarist JJ (Saffron Henderson) in Jason Takes Manhattan.

11. JUMP SCARES

Yet again I defer to Part 2 – my favourite – for the short, sharp shocks that punctuate it: this is a great case in point… Ginny (that lovely Steel woman again) shuts herself inside a small bathroom and waits…listens…slowly leans away from the door to try the window and then… ARGH!!!

12. THE LEGACY

legacyThe Burning, Madman, Sleepaway Camp (and its sequels), Cheerleader Camp, Bloody Murder (and its sequels) and Camp Daze all replicated the summer camp setting to slightly different effect. Some even had kids at the camps and opted killing them off. Proof of just how influential a critically panned $500,000 B-movie is.

13. JASON

Where would we be without Jason himself? The malformed 11-year-old who reportedly drowned in Crystal Lake in 1957 because the counsellors weren’t paying any attention, they were making love while that young boy drowned etc… He’s a true icon for a bunch of twisted reasons but who cares… Jason, we love you!

Brat-Pack Buffet

SLEEPAWAY CAMP II: UNHAPPY CAMPERS

4 Stars  1988/18/80m

“Angela’s back and she’s bad.”

A.k.a. Nightmare Vacation II (UK video)

Director: Michael A. Simpson / Writer: Fritz Gordon / Cast: Pamela Springsteen, Renee Estevez, Tony Higgins, Brian Patrick Clarke, Susan Marie Snyder, Valerie Hartman, Walter Gotell, Terry Hobbs, Kendall Bean, Julie Murphy, Carol Chambers, Amy Fields, Benji Wilhoite, Walter Franks III, Justin Nowell, Heather Binion, Jason Ehrlich, Carol Martin Vines.

Body Count: 19

Dire-logue: “Here you go, Lea, this’ll keep your tits growing. Maybe you’ll quit looking at mine.”


It should be wrong to say that any film solely about a series of murders is fun. By design, slasher films were initially scary and horrifying. Some go for the depressing and bleak tone and some simply fail at creating any impression whatsoever. But by 1988 when virtually everything ever had been done with the body count film, it was better to recline and poke fun at yourself. Freddy had been doing it for a while with hit and miss success but meanwhile, at the cheap end of the market, beyond the fishmongers and the gypsy handing out heather, the low rent filmmakers were camping it up with all the colour of a gay pride ticker tape parade – at camp no less.

sc2-1The original Sleepaway Camp in 1983 is an interesting film, albeit one that trades almost completely on the revelation of who the killer is, like who it really is. It would be twenty years before it generated its own ‘proper’ sequel (which then took another five years to appear on DVD). In the meantime, two back to back made for video sequels were produced and a third aborted in 1992.

Unhappy Campers wastes no time in demonstrating what it’s all about: a campfire recap of ‘the legend of Camp Arawak’ ushers in the now grown-up Angela, working as a counsellor at Camp Rolling Hills where she takes an active dislike to bad kids, which, in her screwy mind covers just about everybody.

sc2-2pics2

Good girl Molly (Renee Estevez) seems to be the only one immune to Angela’s policy of ‘sending home’ those who flaunt their bodies, do drugs, or even talk too much. Interestingly, all the campers are named after actors from the Brat Pack movement in the mid-80s: there’s nasty bitchy Ally, who has lots of sex, horndog jock Rob, hunky Sean, sexy Mare, sassy black girl Demi, pervy brothers Charlie and Emilio and a load of backgrounders who simply pump up the body count.

Angela offs her victims using a variety of weapons from logs to guitar strings and barbecues, even brandishing a chainsaw for an amusing Angela (as Leatherface) vs. Jason vs. Freddy gag. Eventually though, after too many kids are ‘sent home’, she’s fired and goes a bit mad.

sc6aSleepaway Camp II succeeds with its campy bright colours, the uniforms the kids wear and the cliche ridden tour through T&A and bloodletting, all underscored by Angela’s one-liners as she disappointedly lays another teenager to waste for showing their boobs or being mean to another kid. However, there are momentary flashes into the dark: Angela’s dream sequence is kinda freaky and she goes into a short depressed trance and tells Molly that she once drowned a boy who was nasty to her.

All this critique aside, you simply must see it if only just to bear witness to the immortalised crimes against hair:

sc-hair-from-hell-2Quite possibly the most frightening thing about the film.

Springsteen (Bruce’s lil sis) is good in the role and the best thing about the not-so-fun Sleepaway Camp III and Estevez (Emilio’s lil sis) is a perfect fit for goody-goody heroine Molly. Keeping with the sisters-of-the-more-famous schtick, in the next film Melanie Griffith’s sister Tracy played the final girl.

Blurbs-of-interest: director Simpson and Springsteen returned for the third film; Estevez was also in Intruder; Justin Nowell played one of the campers in Friday the 13th Part VI.

All you can do is step back in time

campdazeCAMP DAZE

1.5 Stars  2005/95m

“The only way out is death.”

A.k.a. Camp Slaughter (DVD)

Director: Alex Pucci / Writers: Alex Pucci & Draven Gonzalez / Cast: Anika McFall, Joanna Suhl, Matt Dallas, Eric McIntire, Jon Fleming, Kyle Lupo, Miles Davis, Bethany Taylor, Ashley Gomes, Jessica Sonneborn, Jim Marlowe.

Body Count: 45+

Direlogue: “Backwoods…scary noises… Haven’t you heard of Jason?”


Idea. Excellent. Setting. Perfect. Costumes. Authentic. Execution. Uhh… Can I grab a hall pass?

On paper – or indeed the webpage – Camp Daze reads flawlessly: a quartet of teenagers driving to Maine find themselves stranded at kooky Camp Haiwatha, which is stranded in the summer of 1981, perpetually reliving the night when a psychopathic killer went on a bloody rampage. Fucking awesome.

As an homage to a certain groundbreaking summer camp slasher film, complete with a block-like title card smashing through a pain of glass before it was renamed Camp Slaughter for DVD, mixed with a Groundhog Day riff, this takes some amusing pot-shots at the most famous franchise in slasherama but ultimately chokes on its shoestring budget, which make it look unwatchably cheap and badly made. Y’know, worse than the films it apes.

campdaze3

Most of the film’s problems lie in the visual: careless edits and amateurish gore effects work don’t pack a punch and appear odd under the impressive orchestral score. Slot this in next to terrible acting and poorly conceived characters who suck the fun out of it all, with no real central figure to root for. The eventual sole survivor, Jen, is the sassy black girl who says ‘fuck’ a lot and keeps bringing up Jason, much to the confusion of the camp counsellors.

Even with the strange, not-quite-sure homoerotic undertones and a ballistic body count – possibly a sign of a poorly thought out script – nothing stands out and the obnoxious twist ending just induces rage at the laziness of the plot.

With a better collection of actors and shot with more care, this could’ve been a minor classic but it’s destined to become just one more post-millennial DTV slasher film that claimed it was recapturing the old school methods but failed miserably.

Blurb-of-interest: Jessica Sonneborn returned to camp in Bloody Bloody Bible Camp; director Pucci and actors Fleming and Taylor all contributed to Frat House Massacre.

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