Tag Archives: who finances this crap!?

The 100 Worst Slasher Films: #80-61

IMDb.com’s lowliest rated slasher films – blame the general voting public, not me!

Check out #100-81 here.

80. The Masque of the Red Death (1989)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 3 Stars

Frank Stallone, Herbert Lom, and Brenda Vaccaro all crop up in this 43rd take on Poe’s tale. A young tabloid journalist cons her way into a masquerade ball at an eccentric’s Bavarian castle, where a cloaked and masked fiend begins offing the guests in a series of inventive ways. It’s the alleged ‘travesty’ to Poe that is to thank for the low rating, but it’s not a bad time killer by any degree.

79. BreadCrumbs (2011)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

bc3aA film crew making a porno rock up at a house in the woods where a couple of odd teenagers keep appearing, seemingly trapped in a world of childhood fantasy. Aging star Angie (Marianne Hagan from Halloween 6) is kind to them, which ultimately helps out when people start dying. Likeable characters help this one out in the first instance, but it begin to go downhill at the halfway point.

78. Adam & Evil (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

Graduating high school friends take a camping trip and begin falling victim to a masked killer. There’s a guy called Adam, who’s the hero, so will the killer be Eve, Yvette, or Yvonne? Every trope of the genre gets a tick in the box. In the UK, the film was retitled Halloween Camp 2: Scream If You Wanna Die Faster. The ‘first’ Halloween Camp was actually Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp. Way to confuse us, DVD people.

77. Kill Keith (2011)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

kk3

A very British ‘comedy’ concerning early morning TV, as potential successor’s to the departure of a presenter are done away with. The Keith of the title is British institution Keith Chegwin. The artwork parodied Kill Bill, and is about the only inventive aspect to the whole affair.

76. The Choke (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

Psycho killers vs rock bands was a popular motif in the 80s and early 90s, but it wasn’t gone – only resting. Punk rock band The Choke are on the brink of a split, due to the pretty boy lead singer and guitarist going off in search of their own deal. One final gig sees them locked in Club 905 and stalked by a vengeful killer. Passably put together but excruciatingly paced and understated.

75. The Graveyard (2006)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

A sort-of sequel to the Bloody Murder films: Yet another misjudged prank results in a death. Six years later, the others involved in it are summoned to a reunion at a closed summer camp, where a mystery killer hunts them down. Notable only for starring the guy who played Puck in Glee.

74. The Pumpkin Karver (2006)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

pumpkin-karverNew-to-town siblings become embroiled in a killing spree at a Halloween party in the middle of nowhere, courtesy of a maniac who likes to carve his victims’ faces into Jack-O-Lanterns. The first hour is a very, very slow build towards a ride that houses about as many surprises as a broken jack in the box.

73. Knock Knock (2006)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

“Answering the door will never be the same again,” promises the tagline for this retarded New York film, where the killer offs teens in accordance with their father’s occupation because of a prank from X years earlier… Clichéd ex-cop plotting and casual sexism only makes it more annoying.

72. Goodnight, God Bless (1987)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Another nail in the coffin of British horror, this begins quite daringly with a priest gunning down small children in a playground. The only surviving witness of this massacre is, along with her mother, stalked by the maniac. Some supernatural rubbish is added on, as well as a cop-falls-for-the-mother subplot. Director John Eyres would go on to helm Ripper: Letter From Hell to much improved results. One good piece of dire-logue: “When they put teeth in your mouth they ruined a perfectly good asshole.”

71. Camp Blood 2 (2000)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

campblood2If it was unbelievable enough that there was a Camp Blood 1, this also-shot-on-cam sequel is merely a continuation of the same dreadful quality: The sole survivor of the first massacre is invited to consult as an advisor on a film being made about the original murders. To the surprise of nobody on the planet, another clown masked psycho pops up and does the usual.

70. Drive In (2000)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

Billy Morrow is your garden variety hulking remedial, who’s never left his house thanks to his overbearing mother. His one connection to the outside world is watching the low-end horror movies that play at the drive in across the street. Eventually he gets out and begins killing various patrons, including burning one person’s face in hot nacho cheese at the concession stand. Cheap but cheerful, this innocuous film isn’t half as bad as others on this roster.

69. Hatchetman (2003)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

“Mommy taking her clothes off isn’t as bad as hurting people,” says the final girl to the axe-toting murderer of girls from a pole dancing joint. He’s been chopping off their hands while the cop who happens to be dating the Courteney Cox-a-like heroine try to figure out who it is. A diluted take on the myriad of stripper-killer films that were big in the 80s, but not the worst thing ever.

68. Switch Killer (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

Girl flees her abusive ex and moves to Las Vegas, where she gets a job as a topless dancer and falls in love with another woman. Six months later, boyfriend arrives having had a sex change and stabs all manner of people to get to her. Sixteen of the 84 minute runtime is taken up by the end credits, which tells us just how much thought went into it. The director’s other slasher resume highlights, Mr Ice Cream Man and Carnage Road will feature further up the list.

67. A Night to Dismember (1983)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

nighttodismemberIt’s not really anyone’s fault that A Night to Dismember blows harder than a Pittsburgh hooker, a studio fire destroyed so much of the original footage, that director Doris Wishman spent years re-shooting and re-cutting it. All audio had to be re-dubbed, leaving the end product a kind of headache on screen, with a narrator struggling to make sense of it all.

66. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger are the superstars-to-be looking embarrassed by participating in this totally shitty fourth incarnation of the Sawyer family, with a crossdressing Leatherface. I remember so little about it there’s nothing else to write.

65. Horror 102: Endgame

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

Horror102College students who volunteered for a psychology experiment are locked inside a disused asylum where they are stalked and slain by a hooded killer. Half-a-star better than its predecessor, the non-slasher film Horror 101, both films are rated PG-13, enough to tell you there’s no point investing your time or energy.

64. Scared (2001)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

This sorry Scream knock-off has a masked killer offing the dopey cast and crew of a slasher film (which they call ‘the next Scream‘). Every scenario presented is fresh off the millennial slasher shelf, with nothing original to offer for itself.

63. Terror At Tenkiller (1987)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Two gal-pals go on vacation to a house alongside Lake Tenkiller, to escape an annoying ex-boyfriend. They take jobs as waitresses at the local diner, where the other servers have a habit of walking out and never coming back. There’s absolutely no attempt to disguise the killer’s identity, but with only eight characters in the whole thing, it probably wasn’t worth trying to fool anyone.

62. Motor Home Massacre (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Some amusing one-liners aren’t enough to save this vacation-from-hell DVD feature. Seven teens rent a clunky old Winnebago and venture off to the cursed Black Creek Park, scene of a series of murders that, of course, extends to them as soon as they arrive. It takes about an hour for anything to happen. Not the stuff of a legendary road trip.

61. Deranged

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

derangedA group of British women are invited to the bachelorette party of their eccentric Brazilian friend at her villa in Spain. Once there, the hostess apparently dies from a seizure and then somebody begins murdering the others. From the ‘mystery killer’s’ identity being on the fucking DVD cover to characters deciding to go off for sex during the carnage, this is truly deserving of its place here.

The 100 Worst Slasher Films: #100-81

Following the almighty undertaking that was The 100 Greatest Slasher Films, a few people asked if there would be a list of the 100 Worst films.

I was reluctant to do this for a couple of reasons. Mainly, no matter how awful any film, somebody somewhere has put their all into it, and seeing it declared the worst thing ever wouldn’t be nice for them to read. That said, if I’ve already reviewed it and given in one star, what’s the difference, right?

Also, deciding if Drive-In Massacre is worse than Ax ‘Em is no easy task either. One film can be well made but exponentially boring, whereas the cheapest Nokia-filmed crap can at least be fun to revel in.

So, I decided to go about it differently, and take all the films I’ve seen, cross-reference them with their IMDb ratings and present the 100 Worst films according to the great unwashed.

As we will see, some things in life are unfair, while others are just destined… Hold on.

100. Fatal Pulse (1988)

IMDb rating: 3.4 out of 10
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Sorority bimbos are being stalked by a shadowy psycho, who has the ability to cut throats with vinyl records! Bra’s are commonly slashed open first, of course. And nobody thinks to move out of the fucking house when the girl in the next room was murdered the previous night! Pure shite.

99. Blood Cult (1985)

IMDb rating: 3.4
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

BloodCult1Sorority bimbos are being stalked by a shadowy psycho – are we seeing a theme already!? Blood Cult is one of several films that claimed to be the first made-for-video-on-purpose. Like, who cares? It’s still total crap no matter the intentions. If you’d made a decent film, boast away… Severed fingers in a salad bowl is the ‘high’ point.

98. Small Town Folk (2007)

IMDb rating: 3.4
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

1.5 actually seems generous from my memory of this wretched British production. A 3-minute cameo by Leprechaun Warwick Davis cannot rescue the other 84 minutes, which is comprised of some of the most nauseating “FX” work I’ve ever seen.

97. Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan (2012)

IMDb rating: 3.4
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

ag1aWayward teens on one of those back-to-nature punishment weekends meander into the territory of an axe-toting giant who, uh, axes them. A SyFy-esque production, death by horrendous CGI effects is to blame. But the film does start off okay, with a few laughs to be had before the killing even begins.

96. Study Hell (2004)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

A strange Canadian slasher take on The Breakfast Club, with five archetypes on Saturday detention tormented by their PTSD-suffering teacher, who decides to kill them all. Cheap production qualities from the same home as Dark Fields, which we will see a little later.

95. StagKnight (2007)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 3 Stars

stagknight2The first one to mourn the inclusion of, StagKnight pits a group of bachelor party guys against a resurrected Templar Knight during paintball in the British countryside. Anglo-humour probably sinks this for international audiences. With a bigger budget this could have been on par with Shaun of the Dead. Boo you, IMDb voters!

94. Slaughtered (2009)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

From Britain we go down under to Australia for #94, where a pub lock-in locks in a group of patrons with a psycho killer. With a budget likely no more than a round of beers and a script scribbled on the back of a beer mat, Slaughtered has very little to entice, but could be okay if you made a drinking game out of it…

93. Scar (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

A film so boring I can remember nothing about it beyond Dee Wallace Stone being in it. Notes tell me it’s about the ghost of a rape victim who appears and axes horny woodsmen, while two teens look for clues about the death of their friend a year earlier. I’m also reminded of how bored I was at the time i might just fall asleep at the keybocsrsthajlgvma

92. The Prey (1980)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

prey1Our first loss from the golden era, this basic campers-in-peril flick has the guy who played Lurch in The Addams Family offing the usual bunch of over-aged teens during a hike into the woods. I didn’t find it so bad, but then I never watched it again either…

91. The Jackhammer Massacre (2003)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Bloke does drugs, bloke goes mad, bloke attacks various people with a jackhammer. Bloke is conveniently named Jack.

90. Heebie Jeebies (2004)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Not to be confused with Jeepers Creepers, this is actually an anthology with a slasher opus built around it to join up each story. A girl who can dream the future has bad premonitions about her highschool friends so does the only logical thing – invites them to a shoddy old house in the middle of nowhere. Groan.

89. Hayride (2012)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

HAY1An average effort about an Alabama Halloween Haunted Hayride attraction crashed by an escaped lunatic who stabs his way through the actors on the big night. Low-end production values aren’t great, but there’s far worse around that this doesn’t really deserve to be in the 100 Worst.

88. Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain (2003)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 3 Stars

Another one not deserving of its place here, in spite of production problems throughout its shoot, the first half of Samhain carries pleasant echoes of Friday the 13th-era shenanigans, but begins to fall to pieces once the meat of the story, concerning Descent-like creatures eating tourists in Ireland, is underway. It’s also decked out with big name porno actors.

87. Dark Walker (2003)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

Another Halloween attraction becomes a slaughterhouse when it’s built atop a patch of cursed ground. Like many other bad decisions, the teens employed to work at the place refuse to leave after several murders, citing that they need the cash, evidently more than they need their own head.

86. Cut (2010)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

cut1aAs the likes of Blood Cult pride themselves on being the first made-for-video film, Cut is proud to be the first film shot entirely in one continuous take. Trivia informs us it took 36 takes to get it right, which, when you think about it would be super annoying if someone screwed up at the last second… Anyway, people in a house are tormented by clown-faced loons and Gremlins‘ Zach Galligan is in it.

85. A Crack in the Floor (2001)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

Three teen couples go camping in the wrong part of the woods and disturb a Jason-like hermit who lives beneath the floor of a cabin. Playing like a tribute to Friday the 13th Part III in particular, it’s innocuous stuff with that muscle guy from Saved By the Bell and Gary Busey as a deranged- Gary Busey playing himself.

84. The Cheerleader Massacre (2003)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

Posing at Slumber Party Massacre IV and directed by Jim Wynorski, this features genre-fixture Brinke Stevens as the grown-up victim from the 1982 film, apparently not dead after all, and a group of cheerleaders who take shelter from a snowstorm at a cabin… By now I’m sure y’all can guess the rest.

83. Blood Reaper (2004)

IMDb rating: 3.3
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

It’s Brinke again! Though even she looks bored in this seen-it-all-before tale of campers going where they shouldn’t. 80 minutes of people meandering slowly through trees and little else. Points almost awarded for electing the plus-size girl as the final girl, but then they go and ruin that too.

82. Silent Bloodnight (2006)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

silent3aIn bad-movie terms, Silent Bloodnight is a goldmine of laughter. An Austrian film where the actors (attempt to) speak English opens things up to some hilarious dialogue: “Something unexplained has happened!” wails the frightened heroine at one point. The laidback European approach means there’s full frontal nudity for BOTH genders.

81. Shadows Run Black (1981)

IMDb rating: 3.2
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Kevin Costner’s secret shame. He only has a small red herring role in this piss poor Halloween wannabe that features a ski-masked killer doing in naked chicks who’ve dared to dabble in drugs. Misogynistic garbage. Costner’s name is suspiciously absent from the credits, which appear to be real-time typed as the credits roll.

2015 Halloween Spectacular Part 2: Zombie Nightmare

zombie-nightmareZOMBIE NIGHTMARE

1.5 Stars  1987/80m

Director: Jack Bravman / Writer: David Wellington / Cast: Adam West, Frank Dietz, John Mikl Thor, Manuska Rigaud, Shawn Levy, Tia Carrere, Allan Fisher, Hamish McEwen, Manon E. Turbide, Linda Singer.

Body Count: 10

Laughter Lines: “I’m old enough to be your older sister.”


And I wanted my 666th slasher movie to special! Kinda got what I wished for.

Serving as a kind of resume urban legend for some of the big names involved, Zombie Nightmare‘s IMDb rating of 2.2 (up from around 1.8 and a place in Bottom 100) provides a fairly accurate reflection of what to expect…

BUT… bad movie lovers amongst us will enjoy this veritable feast of How Not To Make A Good Movie, from drastic changes in hair, clothes, and even actors mid-scene.

I would reckon zombie movie fans have picked up this one excitedly in the past, only to painfully discover that, title aside, and just like Zombie Island Massacre, this ain’t nothin’ but a punk ass slasher movie.

zn5Anyway, after a baseball game, the Washington family walk home, and big dad Bill tries to help a young girl being harassed by two punk ass teen, uh, punks. For his trouble, he gets himself stabbed in front of wife and young son.

Years later, young son has grown up into be-mulleted hunk Tony (Thor, of the band Thor), all round great guy, who looks after mom and is nice to all, or so we assume from his few minutes of screen time. Tony is sent to fetch groceries from the couldn’t-be-more-stereotypical Italian shopkeep, who is later referred to as Hank Peters (!). During his errand, more punk ass punks attempt to rob the store (Hank gasps “Mamma Mia!”) and Tony beats up their punk asses but is then run over by yet another group of punk ass teen punks, who just drive away. They have no collective remorse, with the guy at the wheel even saying he got a buzz from it.

zn3Shopkeep takes Tony’s body to his mom’s house and then suggests they call the police, but she has better ideas, calling in a favour from local Haitian Voodoo Priestess Molly Mokembe, who can resurrect Tony in zombie form long enough for him to seek revenge on those responsible.

So it goes, the quintet of teens are hunted down by the hulking zombie, initially sporting the same mullet but later cropped down to sensible Ken-doll hair, while he breaks necks, impales with baseball bats, or just smashes skulls into walls n’ shit. Curiously, the nasty teen most responsible – big blown out, feathered hair – goes fairly early on, leaving Tia Carrere and boyfriend to be stalked to the last.

Tony: Before and after

Tony: Before and after

As if this weren’t awesome enough ingredients for the best film y’ever saw, halfway through Adam freakin’ West turns up as the police captain, whose detective (Dietz) is hot on the trail of the killer. The murders are somehow being reported as drug-infused suicides. Of a victim, the Captain says: “He ran with a bad crowd… Running red lights, getting drunk, smoking marijuana – you know the usual bad stuff.” Yeah sounds like an epidemic.

Tony eventually rids the world of the punk ass teen punks and is free to rest in peace, but not before Zombie Nightmare plays its ace card: Adam West is one the punk ass punks who killed his dad!

zn-westBut, hey, wait a sec… The M.E. says that an earlier victim was aged around 43, whereas West was pushing 60 in 1987 – and how many years were supposed to have passed between Tony’s dad being murdered (by “teens”) and Tony being grown up? 10? 20?? 30???

Nothing really makes a lot of sense in Zombie Nightmare. At one point, things just grind to halt so we can watch two people play tennis for several minutes. But at least there’s pre-Wayne’s World Tia Carrere as one of the teens, and the ringleader was played by Shawn Levy, who went on to direct the Night at the Museum films along with numerous other Hollywood titles, whereas Zombie Nightmare‘s director, Jack Bravman, later gave us the even worse Night of the Dribbler.

  • Elsewhere, why does the priestess talk like a sheep singing a Belinda Carlisle song?
  • Why does Zombie-Tony look like he’s doing interpretive dance in the final scene?
  • Why does a near rape victim think that saying: “I’ve had enough of your childish sexual advances – go away!” would ever work?
  • Who is the hero in this film, seriously? Zombie Tony? The detective?

zn4The thrash metal soundtrack, with songs from Motorhead, Thor (of course) and a load of other bands I’ve never heard of, seems to be where the budget went. Come for the music, stay for the hair and the comedy.

2015 Halloween Spectacular Part 1: Rocktober Blood

 

Happy Halloweeeeeeen

As a festive [trick or] treat, VeVo gives you THREE awesome* reviews throughout the day. Let us start with the imitable 1984 metalsploitation flick, Rocktober Blood

*

rocktober-BloodROCKTOBER BLOOD

1.5 Stars  1984/88m

“He’s back from the dead with a message from hell!”

Director/Writer: Beverly Sebastian / Writer: Fred Sebastian / Cast: Tray Loren, Donna Scoggins, Nigel Benjamin, Renee Hubbard, Cara Cockrell, Ben Sebastian.

Body Count: 8

Laughter Lines: “I want your hot, steaming pussy blood all over my face.” Eww.


Necessary spoilers await thee…

Conceptually, Rocktober Blood should, well, rock: Billy Eye, squealy vocalist of the titular band, flips one night at the recording studio and murders a couple of employees before trying to kill on-off girlfriend and backing singer, Lynn.

Two years later, we’re informed that Lynn’s testimony sent Billy to the execution chamber and she’s just about ready to tour with the band, now renamed Headmistress. The same manager is on side, she’s got gal pals, and all manner of dodgy hair-metal wigs. What could go wrong?

Well, Billy could somehow return from the grave and torment her for one… Made up in the same sub-Kiss style, Billy appears at the studio, at a random lake house she goes to, telling her he’s back for revenge.

rb5Now, most plot summaries of Rocktober Blood will tell you that undead rockstar picks off the members of his old band one by one. This is not so, undead rockstar limits his prey to Lynn’s female friends – one is drowned in the hot tub, the other has her throat slashed with an iron (!?) – and random dancers at the climactic concert, where the audience think it’s all part of the show, but he impales two of the chicks and cuts the head of a third and lobs it at the crowd!

The so-called twist is nothing but the sad old Evil Twin gag – it’s not Billy, Billy is well and truly dead. They even dig up his corpse to prove it to Lynn, but find the world’s fakest looking skeleton instead.

No, the killer is the secret identical twin John, who is jealous Billy got all the credit for his songs and so just, y’know, kills people. At the end, he captures and drugs Lynn and places her in a casket on the stage, getting the dose just right so that she’s fit to belt out her number when released, which she just does. Consummate professional I guess, but the killer is there on stage with her!?

Very little actually happens in Rocktober Blood. There’s overlong metal performances (though ‘Rainbow Eyes’ was quite the jam), Lynn is chased about five times, has several baths, which enable her to be shown totally starkers as she very slowly towels herself dry.

rb6rb7But with three of the seven murders committed in the space of the penultimate song, two others at the start, the main body of the film just lags with the three girls at the lake house doing high energy aerobics in Olivia Newton-John-esque leotards.

A strange film, really quite boring unless you happen to be a fan of ‘metalsploitation’, with a woefully unfrightening killer, too few characters, actors who murmur their lines, and no real sense of cohesion or creativity. About as terrifying as a Michael Bublé concert. Actually, no it’s not.

R.S.V.P. with a big fat never

kinopoisk.ruPARTY CRASHER: MY BLOODY BIRTHDAY

1 Stars  2000/90m

“Happy Deathday.”

Director/Writer: Mark Mason / Writer: Bonne Bond / Cast: Mark Mason, Jeff Howard, Tom Wescott, Laura Sellers, Rob Boyd, Asya West, Buddy Bord, Annette Rosenheck, Randy Ackerman.

Body Count: 13

Laughter Lines: “Looks like someone went crazy with a knife.”


I once had some correspondence with somebody involved with this one. They turned out to be a narcissistic bigot, so it was a something of a relief when the film turned out to suck.

Wrapped by 1995 but not released until 2000, this regional cheapo concerns one Henry Primo who, at his sixteenth birthday party, is drugged and subsequently goes on a two-minute killing spree whilst high.

Fifteen years later (never fourteen, never sixteen), Henry (played by the director, always a bad omen) is released from an asylum to live in a secure cell at the home of his well-to-do parents. From this point, nothing remotely interesting happens until the last twelve minutes, when he finally loses it and embarks on another rampage.

The bloated midriff of the film is occupied by Henry’s return to society and the anxieties of his old friends who survived the first massacre, including the guy who slipped him the drugs.

Script desperation culminates in a scene where Henry is invited to receive a special award at his high school reunion! And nobody protests! They even give him a round of applause because he saved a girl from a rampaging dog!

Just… no.

1 2 3 4 5 28