The 100 Worst Slasher Films: #40-21

IMDb’s 100 worst continues…

See #100-81 here
And #80-61 here
And #60-41 here

40. Beyond Remedy (2008)

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

Six young physicians agree to participate in an experiment supposed to help rid them of their fears and phobias, which cover the usual blades, claustrophobia, and vertigo. Too bad that a scrubs-and-chainmail clad killer has crashed the party. Not a bad little Euro-shocker, but dry and contrived, with characters making terrible decisions to drive the plot where it needs to go.

39. Bloody Murder (1999)

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

bm1Bizarre Friday the 13th homage, in which teen counsellors at Camp Placid Pines are targeted by a mystery loon who may or may not be hockey-masked local legend Trevor Moorhouse. The dull heroine has to find out who it really is! About as horror as a Glee Halloween Special, with little claret, a patronising mystery element, and annoying characters. The sequel, however, was way better.

38. Dr Chopper

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

College kids go to the middle of nowhere to check out the cabin one of them has inherited, only to become the prey for a deranged, grey-skinned surgeon, who – with the help of several nurses – likes to cut up youthful people to reverse the aging of cells blah, blah, blah. As soon as the requisite girl-on-girl make-out scene arrives, you know the rest of the film may as well be flushed down the can.

37. Bunnyman

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

The production company behind this endurance test is aptly named No One Cares. Roadtrippin’ teens are tormented by an old truck during the world’s slowest car chase (see that speedometer crank up to 53mph!!), and eventually get stranded in the woods. A guy in a giant rabbit costume turns up with a chainsaw and the stupid decisions continue for the excruciating remainder of the film.

36. Drive In Massacre (1976)

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 0.5 Stars

driveinThis would be Top 3 on my list. I haven’t yet experienced a more painful pre-millennial film than this. Detectives investigating murders at a drive-in fail to apprehend the killer. That’s about it. Random tangents into other plots take over and the film finally fizzles out with a title card informing us the murders stopped and nobody was ever caught. Repugnantly pathetic in every way.

35. The Greenskeeper (2003)

IMDb rating: 2.8
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

This fun little flick shouldn’t be here either: Patrons at a snotty golf club are permanently handicapped by a lunatic mystery killer, who prowls the greens with a pair of shears and a bad attitude. Some annoying toilet-humour gets in the way, but there’s still a good time to be had.

34. Dark Harvest

IMDb rating: 2.8
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Three couples vacationing at a rundown farm are attacked by possessed scarecrows. $0.99c store production values, girl-on-girl exploitation, and no sense of irony only make worse something that was already a pile of shit.

33. The Last Slumber Party (1987)

IMDb rating: 2.8
VeVo rating: 0.5 Stars

lsp1If you thought that the Slumber Party Massacre sequels were poor, give 71 minutes of your life away to this monstrosity, where three gal-pals find their gathering crashed by a psychotic mental patient armed with a scalpel. Bad acting notwithstanding, dead bodies magically appear in mid-air despite being killed several miles away, dreams occur within other dreams, and the main character is an obnoxious, nasty bitch, who would be first to go in any other slasher flick. Everything in this film is terrible and it should be a lot higher up this list than #34.

32. Scream (1981)

IMDb rating: 2.8
VeVo rating: 0.5 Stars

Not that Scream. This dire venture, also known as The Outing, strands a group of river rafters in a deserted town overnight, where the menfolk are slashed to ribbons by an invisible force, which is never attributed to anything or anyone. John Wayne’s son Ethan is one of a few semi-knowns probably hoping this is all but forgotten.

31. Zombie Island Massacre (1984)

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

zimDisappointed zombie film fans probably voted this Troma film down when they realised it’s a thinly disguised slasher film, in which tourists on a Caribbean island are done in by a leaf-clad killer. Not the worst thing ever, but hardly worth recommending either. Harry Manfredini provided a Friday-lite score.

30. Jack-O (1995)

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

A pumpkin-headed warlock thing is unearthed by beer-fueled teens and resumes the killing spree it began 81 years earlier. Linnea Quigley is the babysitter in charge of its prime kill. A frustratingly paced film, but some funny demises elevate it enough above bottom of the barrel scum level.

29. Mr Ice Cream Man (1991)

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

Odd 66-minute Vegas cheapie, with a homicidal ice cream man disappearing naïve kiddies on the streets. Very low budget with questionable acting at best, but a couple of unsettling moments due to said cheapness. Writer/director/star Mack Hail directed Switch Killer and was in Carnage Road. Not the best resume.

28. Hazard Jack

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

hazardjack1From one Jack to another… Assorted college paintballers use an abandoned asylum for their latest game and upset the resident PTSD-suffering hulk who murders people there. In sub-Jason form, he stalks and eliminates them, ticking off just about every awful stereotype of victim available. A lazy production.

27. Stupid Teenagers Must Die!

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

The awesome title isn’t enough to save this cheap looking parody, which at least had the sense to mock itself in a preemptive fashion. Teens gather at the home of a murderer for a seance, become possessed, and start killing each other.

26. Roadside Massacre

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

The teen staff at a rib shack appear to be lobotomized. A patron thinks one of them is her missing sister. She and her friends are chased by a fat bloke with a cleaver and killed one by one. Titled The Texas Roadside Massacre for its UK DVD release, it isn’t set anywhere near Texas and there’s no chainsaw to be seen. Trash.

25. The Bagman (2002)

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 0.5 Stars

More video-made scum about ex-school friends chased by a sack-headed killer who was drowned by one of them years earlier. Much of the dialogue is inaudible due to the terrible sound quality, despite the amateurs shouting most of it at one another.

24. Carnage Road (2000)

IMDb rating: 2.7
VeVo rating: 0.5 Stars

Suffixed The Legend of Quiltface, this is around 25 places too low in this list. Photography students in need of extra credit and one crap camera between them are dropped off in the desert where they are chased around by a completely unscary psycho, often stood about five feet away from them in broad daylight but still goes unseen. One person dies from an inch deep cut to the hip, while another falls over and waits several seconds for the killer to catch up so they can struggle.

23. Hollywood’s New Blood (1988)

IMDb rating: 2.6
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

HNB1989Monumentally cheap LA slasher with ‘actors’ at an ‘acting workshop’ laid to waste by a trio of ghostly brothers who burnt to death there blah-years earlier. Shot in what appears to be twenty feet of woods (probably in Griffith Park), the film makes little sense, but has an endearingly crap appeal about it.

22. The Fear: Resurrection (1999)

IMDb rating: 2.6
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

The first Fear movie dealt – again – with some psych experiment in phobias, which all went wrong, but it wasn’t really a slasher affair. The 1999 sequel brought back the creepy wooden mannequin, Morty, from that film, had him possessed and killing a new group of college kids as they visit grandma (Betsy Palmer!!). All over the place, incoherent, and overflowing with annoying characters.

21. Night of the Dribbler (1990)

IMDb rating: 2.6
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

The director of Zombie Nightmare (coming soon!) churned out this misleading comedy, in which a basketball-masked fiend torments members of a highschool team. It sat largely unreleased for almost twenty years, garnering a small cult appeal… until people saw it. With a bodycount of two and hardly any time allocated to the stalk n’ slash opus, it couldn’t be more of a waste of time if it were a blank tape.

3 comments

  • “Harry Manfredini provided a Friday-lite score.”

    What else is new?

  • And yet we never knew what exactly was killing those teens in Scream (1981)…nor do we really care.

    Strange thing about Hazard Jack: I kinda liked it. Indeed I am a sad strange little man…

  • Zombie Island Massacre and Drive-In Massacre aren’t too bad. Last Slumber Party is at least an amusing piece of crap.

    Scream ’81 is pretty boring. Hollywood’s New Blood is in my bottom 5 retro slashers list. Hate it.

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