The 100 Worst Slasher Films: #60-41

IMDb’s lowest rated slasher films of the 671 I’ve seen to date…

See #100-81 here
And #80-61 here

60. Bikini Girls On Ice (2009)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 3.5 Stars

A female soccer team on their way to a charity car wash break down at an old garage and decide to hold their event there instead. Unfortunately, it’s home to a lunatic mechanic who gleefully slices and dices his way through the newcomers. I imagine most people down-voted this one due to the title, which seems to promise a parade of topless chicks that never comes to be. Instead, BGOI operates in a sort of recaptured Friday the 13th mode, with slow misleading zooms and people meandering around on their own. It provides a real splash of colour to the cheaper end of the genre and categorically shouldn’t appear on this list.

59. Dead Above Ground (2002)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

dagSort of Melrose Place meets Scream when the anniversary of an LA high school goth’s death brings a cloaked, axe-wielding psycho to campus, who begins chopping up the staff and students. Written by the creator of The A-Team (!), this film has trouble deciding what it wants to achieve and flits all over the place, eventually allowing too many of the targeted teens to walk away unscathed.

58. Camp Blood (1999)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

We already saw the sequel a few places lower, good to know the original is somehow even worse!

Courtney Taylor, who played Mary Lou Maloney in Prom Night III, is a hiking guide who takes two city couples into the woods where a clown masked psycho is hacking at people with a machete. If Mom and Dad made a camcorder horror movie over a weekend, this is what it would look like.

57. The Catcher (1998)

IMDb rating: 3.1
VeVo rating: 0.5 Stars

A baseball team who just lost their final game of the season are done in by a catcher-masked psycho, who may or may not be the legendary Little Johnny MacIntosh. Spoiler: It is. Considering the cast are supposed to be athletes, nobody is able to run with any speed, people put down weapons to try and reason with the killer, and one guy gets a baseball bat rammed up his ass. Ouch. Extremely low budget, extremely low appeal.

56. The Curse of El Charro (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

elcharroA college girl’s bloodline is cursed and the spirit of El Charro will stop at nothing to destroy her and anyone in the way. This causes problems when she goes on a roadtrip with some friends. Nasty characters drag this one down several notches, but all is not lost, thanks to some surface gloss, and a few grisly denouements. So-so.

55. Scarecrow Gone Wild (2004)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2.5 Stars

The plastic looking scarecrow returns in the third, and so far final film of the cheapo series. This time, a college footballer lapses into a diabetic coma after a prank and his consciousness is transferred into the scarecrow, who proceeds to kill the football team and their girlfriends during Spring Break. By no means a good film, but entertaining in its own, dollar store way, and not the last we’ve seen of this series on the list.

54. Paranoid (2000)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

paranoid3This Australian Scream wannabe features a serial murderer known as The Conscience Killer chasing down teens at another one of those Haunted House things – or is it somebody imitating him? High school journalist Sarah is keen to find out after her twin sister was murdered. There’s even a bolshy female reporter on scene… Gale, is that you?

53. The Watermen (2011)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

This waterlogged combo of Wrong Turn and Wolf Creek pits six college ‘kids’ against homicidal fishermen, who initially rescue them after their boat runs out of gas, only to drug them with the intention of turning them into crab bait. Replete with annoying clich├ęs: The girls are all incapable morons who need to be repeatedly rescued, while the killers are slicker-wearing Creole-types, all long hair and beards. One person is at death’s door one minute and able to run around flinging barrels like Donkey Kong the next!

52. Blood Sisters (1985)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

More sorority girls are initiated by being sent to a creepy old house for the night. In this case, the house was once a brothel where a double murder took place. Seems that the killer has not left and disguised as the ‘ghost’ of a prostitute, strangles, shoots, and stabs the girls to death. One of the few slasher films directed by a woman, Blood Sisters has some 80s charm to it and isn’t as badly pieced together as it could’ve been, but is the slow kid in class compared to others of its ilk.

51. Detention (2010)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

det2aThirty-whatever years after a kid was burned to death in the school furnace, detained students accidentally release his spirit, which possesses somebody and begins killing them one by one. Cheap in the extreme, with every Stock Background Character accounted for, and the person with the British accent naturally turns out to be evil.

50. Seed (2007)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 2 Stars

Uwe Boll apparently wanted to make a horror film that was “no fun”. Well, he achieved that. Max Seed is a serial killer who has claimed 666 victims and even the electric chair fails to stop him, allowing him to kill anew. Beginning with ‘real’ footage of a pelt farm, this film features domestic pets and even a baby being starved to death on time-lapse footage, is apparently set in 1979 although nothing suggests it until the film is half over, and features a bunch of characters whose names and roles are a complete blur.

49. Hollow Gate (1988)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

Two teen couples on their way to a rave drop of a selection of Halloween costumes at a house in exchange for free wigs. Really. Said house is home to a raving maniac who dons his new costumes one at a time to murder the newcomers. One girl is run over by a combine harvester that she had over a minute to move out of the way of, but instead chose to stand there screaming. Another guy is mauled by rabid Golden Retrievers. An am-dram nightmare.

48. Splatter University (1984)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

su3aA new teacher at a college is embroiled in a series of murders across the campus. One of those films where no matter how repugnant the dickhead frat boys are, they’re spared the blade in favour of their doomed girlfriends. Infamous for killing its final girl before the end. Troma produced it, so it should surprise nobody that it makes the list.

47. Devon’s Ghost: Legend of the Bloody Boy (2005)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Go go Power Rangers! Two of the ex-cast members of that show wrote, directed, and star in this really weird slasher film. A decade on after a local kid disappeared, his now-teen friends are witness to a series of slayings around town, where couples are done in by a ghostly boy wielding a baseball bat. Good thing they can use the martial arts abilities they didn’t mention until necessary to defeat him! Character names include Freedom, Genesis, and Symphony. No Rita Repulsa though.

46. Do You Wanna Know a Secret (2001)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

More Spring Breakin’ college kids are stalked and slashed by a masked loon who leaves the titular question with each body. Seems nobody wants to know though as, despite the bodies of their friends piling up, they continue to party anyway. The terminally boring heroine and fucking Joey Lawrence have to figure it out before they’re next! Yawn.

45. Final Examination (2003)

IMDb rating: 3.0
VeVo rating: 1 Stars

Sorority sisters are a reunion in Hawaii are stalked by a loon who’s crap at killing them, succeeding in doing away with only two. There’s no exam to speak of, unless you count the way the camera examines a topless chicks as they shower. It’s like a really slow, boring episode of Hawaii-Five-0, hardly a horror movie at all, with three different killers identified by the end in a last second attempt to make it exciting. This exam is one big fail.

44. Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove (2005)

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 3 Stars

jollyrogerdecapThe lovechild of Freddy Krueger and Captain Jack Sparrow yo-ho-ho’s his way through this cheap and cheerful slasher, offing various schmucks with his sword and a pirate-themed pun while he searches for ale or/and treasure. I can’t remember. But it was stupid fun.

43. Snapped (2005)

IMDb rating: 2.0
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

A struggling photographer is hired by a mysterious client to provide photos of dead bodies. She descends further into madness, killing anyone and everyone who appears on screen, all of whom adhere to that sad post-millennial quality of being unlikeable assholes anyway.

42. The Retreat (2005)

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

To celebrate the end of term, psyche students journey up to their professor’s middle-of-the-woods cabin where they are murdered by a Parka wearing maniac. Then another group come the next day and it happens all over again. Then it’s all just a dream or an experiment or something. Either way, you’ll be yelling “fuck off!” at the screen.

41. Memorial Day (1999)

IMDb rating: 2.9
VeVo rating: 1.5 Stars

Where have we heard a story like this before? A boy drowns in a lake and years later his sister and friends return there for a weekend, where they are stalked and killed by a hockey-masked psycho? Some notoriety for being one of the first digital features notwithstanding, this cheapo film is more offensive for being boring than anything else.

2 comments

  • Welp, I can’t blame some folks for rating Bikini Girls so low, the film can be a bit “lackluster”. Thankfully, Pin-Up Girls was a HUGE improvement. Did you see that one?

  • Nay, not yet. I’ve been lax with anything post-80s this year. The shame.

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