Twists of fury: I’ll Always Know What blah blah blah

In this feature, Vegan Voorhees examines those jaw-dropping revelations that the slasher film loves to bat our way from the blue, like a pushy parent tossing softballs at a kid who doesn’t want to learn baseball.

Today, marvel at the utter stupidity that adorns the end of I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, one of the longest titles with one of the crappest codas. As ever, if you haven’t seen it and don’t want to know, BEWARE ONCOMING SPOILERS!

 

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Set Up: Four teenage friends in a small Colorado town cover up their prank that left a friend dead and the local cops looking for a killer that never was. One year later, they are tormented and stalked by The Fisherman, who knows what they did last summer…

Twist: The Fisherman is a ghost who appears when there are secrets to be reckoned with.

Problems with this revelation:

  • The entire point of the title play is that it’s a mystery. Somebody knows what they did last summer.
  • You invest time and thought into a mystery plot that ends up being meaningless.
  • There are several plausible suspects hanging around, it would’ve been easy for one of them to be the killer.
  • It totally ruins the whole film. Up until this ridiculous turn of events, IAKWYDLS isn’t that bad a project.
  • Partly unrelated, why’s it set in Colorado? There’s no seagoing fishermen there.

Likely explanation: It’s a mind boggler – perhaps they wrote themselves into a corner or they thought it was clever leading everybody down the standard who-could-it-be? route only to spring on them that the legend has taken on supernatural properties and can go where it wants. Either way, it’s awful. Awful, awful, awful.

2 comments

  • Dawww, I kind of like this film, even with its weirdo twist that is the exact inversion of the one from Friday the 13th: A New Beginning.

    And that’s not an April Fools’ joke.

  • It’s…fair…but the twist is really something that pulls this film down into cliched proportions.

    Seriously? A boogeyman that kills you off for keeping a fatal secret that you’ve done at a Summer? Kinda narrowing down his own MO, don’t cha think? XDD

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